


Changing of the Banished

by RadioActivity



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: BillDip, Body Possession, Demons, Other, Rated Mature but, maybe it isn't really mature, trans Bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-02-29 04:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18771385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioActivity/pseuds/RadioActivity
Summary: In the end, Bill, before he was murdered, called upon the only being more powerful than him to save his life... and in saving his life, it put him through a grueling torture for eons, wishing for death that never seemed to come. One day, Bill finds himself cast from his own body and flung through space and time, waking up in a place he'd never seen, in a body that looked distinctly... human? How do you survive when you don't know anything about what it takes to keep humans alive?





	1. Chapter 1

Dipper leaned back from his laptop, rubbing his neck. How annoying... Really. His work was going well... he was 75% of the way through the seventh edit of this book, but he was so tired. His editor just pushed and pushed and pushed and he was exhausted. Such an exhausting series of work... He rubbed his shoulder. He needed to do something that wasn't this.

Sighing, he got to his feet. Annoying... He went to take a shower and got dressed, tugging his hoodie over his shirt. It'd been a long time here since Bill Cipher... 8 years. Things had changed a little since then, but not much. Dipper had moved here to give himself more time and focus on his writing and it had worked. He headed out, going for a walk through the town and trying to focus on something to reinspire his drive to finish his story. He ended up at Bill's statue again, studying it.

“He's really... looking the exact same as he did 8 years ago,” Dipper muttered to himself. Every tourist to their town visiting the mystery shack had fooled with the statue, to the insane point of taking its hand and jokingly making wishes to it... So clearly it was deactivated. “You know... I'm having a really hard time right now? I mean, not too hard, my books sell well, but... I'm getting... writing is getting hard. I guess, actually, writing is easy, but editing is so hard...”

Dipper took a seat next to the statue. “It feels like... maybe... I don't know. I'm getting... tired of everything. I don't know. I'm sure you're tired of everything too... but I'd rather you be tired and miserable than kill all of us...”

Dipper leaned against the statue. “Agh... I don't know. Did you know, my most famous book was a book about a monster just like you? I pulled off of everything I experienced then, and the book was just... amazing. So... thanks for that, you're a pretty good villain.”

There was a silence, of course. Dipper got to his feet. “I came here to try to take a break from... my editing...” Dipper sighed. He leaned over the statue. “Well, whatever. Hopefully if you ever come back, you'll have learned a lesson.” Dipper headed for home, his hands in his pockets.

 

The wind blew very strongly past Bill's body, causing the trees before them to nearly double over. He was in a world of pure wind, pure ice and snow, and doom. There was no happiness to be had in the world... and there was even less happiness to be had in Bill's soul.

The body Bill was in was not in his control. A demon with a freakish looking appearance controlled the body, and it was so boring, Bill had lost count of the times he'd longed for death. It was as though the host of the body was aiming to be as boring as it possibly could. Bill was just losing his mind. If he could control the body, even for five minutes, he'd drive the body straight into the coldest place in this world to die, so he could pass on!

The Axolotl had tormented him with this punishment... He stayed alive, but he'd lost everything.

Bill looked through the eyes to see what the host saw. It was approaching what looked like a great beast, a true monster. Bill hoped idly that the host would come to death at the face of it, but it absently greeted it.

“Welcome, gray one. What might I do for you?” the monster questioned.

“I have an odd request for you, dark one,” it answered, curtsying to it. “Since my birth, there is something inside me, it is as though it is a soul that is not my own... I wish to have it removed from me. It is massively depressing. It wishes daily for my own death... so that it can be free. I cannot take it any longer... Can you free it from me?”

“Let me peer into your soul,” it got very close to them, studying it carefully. “I see what you are saying. The two of you are so muddled together, it is hard to recognize it. But now that you have pointed it out, I can see. I know of a spell that can send it away, perhaps to another dimension...”

Bill hoped that would be successful, he thought he'd probably rather be anywhere else than here with this thing.

The thing began casting some kind of spell, and Bill felt his essence ripped out of the body and cast away into the distance.

He traveled alone through time and space and floated alone for eternity. At least it was a relief... It felt passing and... easy. He passed through until he felt his essence drawn to something... and before he knew what had happened or where he was, he felt himself awaken somewhere he'd never been before.

The beeping and humming around him was so soft, Bill could barely hear it, but his body felt so heavy.

He struggled to open his eyes and he felt his body laying on something. A body! His mind connected to the thought with some pleasure, but then he realized it wasn't his body. It was the body of some human woman... someone he'd never met. His hands were delicate and beautiful, and his torso was flat and firm... his legs were long and skinny, and he had trouble processing where he was. Everything was so fuzzy... He traced his hand up his arm, coming up to the shoulder. A soft yellow sort of wavy hair caught his attention and he thought, sort of slowly, that it reminded him of a human woman he'd made a deal with long ago... he couldn't remember anything more than that. He tugged at it and a woman came in, dealing with the other woman in his room first, before swinging by him. "Hi, Alex!" she smiled, helping him out of bed. "Come on, we need to use the bathroom,"

"For what?" Bill replied, his voice sounding high and oddly sluggish.

"Well, everything that needs done," she escorted him into it and sat him down on the toilet. Bill felt his body release something out of it into the water and he looked down at it. Weird... "Okay, now wipe up," 

Bill followed her rough instructions, managing to get finished. He was escorted over to the sink and he went to wash his hands, as she instructed, and he got caught at the sight of himself in the mirror. "I... look..." he paused. "... like this..." 

"Aw, sweetheart, a little memory gap is normal after what you've been through!" she assured. 

He- or she was more accurate, looked completely human. Long, very long wavy blonde hair, with these startling blue eyes that stared back at her... it was really... unusual. Pretty, though, for humans she guessed. The white tied dress on her was maybe a little small, but she didn't know. Her top was nearly bursting out of it, and the rest looked like it fit alright. She couldn't really accurately describe how she felt... or did she even feel? She didn't know. She guessed she did feel, but she didn't know exactly what she was feeling. She continued washing her hands and the woman stopped him and had her dry her hands off. "Come on, Alex, back to bed," 

"Who is Alex?" 

"Alex is you, now come on," she escorted her back to bed and Bill climbed in it.

She closed her eyes, and she slept for the first time.

 

After a long period, they told her she was free to go, her clothes were in the tall box next to the bed... and she opened the tall box, or closet. She managed to get her clothes on. She spent a long time trying to figure out what the bra and panties were for, but the memories of the body he was in helped clue him in to it.

Now, Bill, in a female's body, which he hated but preferred anything over the body he had been in before, was left to wander the area entirely alone. He found out he was in Gravity Falls now, and it had been some time since he'd been there... he needed to figure out what he was supposed to do. No amount of effort gave him freedom or power... So he had to give up and accept his form.

 

Dipper rubbed his hair. Finally he'd finished the book, and it would be published next year. He was a little out of ideas of what to write next. He decided to go out and go for a walk... he needed some kind of ideas he could use to write his next book. He wandered for a while and settled in the park, watching people pass by. He really was fresh out of ideas. Very fresh... He didn't know how to come up with his next idea, even, usually his mind just wove them out of life...

He absently looked until he spotted a beautiful (although very messy and dirty-looking) girl ambling through the park, her blonde hair a mess filled with sticks, leaves, and dirt. Her eyes were really stunning, like something from an antique painting or something else. What an odd girl... maybe he could use something like her to give him his next idea. He started cobbling together a rough idea of a next story when he felt her eyes lock onto him. He startled in surprise, looking away from her. Unfortunately, it was too late.

She rushed at him, climbing onto the bench, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Hi, Pine Tree! You're looking pretty ragged! Times have changed, haven't they? Hi! I haven't seen you in so so so long, you wouldn't believe!”

Dipper stammered. “I- ragged? What times? Ma'am, I've- I've never met you before!”

“I've met you! I need some help, Pine Tree! Things are really bad and I need you to help me!” She said, brightly.

“I- uh, who- who are you? And I'm not Pine Tree! Did you get that name from Bill when you were a kid?” Dipper managed, embarrassed.

“I am Bill Cipher!” She beamed at him. Or... he did? Dipper was more confused than anything. “Take me back to your place and feed me and I'll tell you everything you want to know!”

Dipper felt confused. He blushed. “Look... First, Bill was a man, you're... not, and... also, if that's a joke-”

“Pine Tree, I'm starving,” Bill scowled. “This body is getting weaker by the day, and if you don't do this, you're going to kill me. It's up to you.”

Dipper flinched. “... Okay, come with me, and I'll feed you, and we'll... we'll figure the rest out.”

Dipper escorted the girl to his house, having her take a seat on the couch. “I have some leftovers in my fridge, I'll heat them up for you. Stay there and I'll come back with food.”

Bill looked around the room, fiddling with things until Dipper returned, and then he looked up at Dipper. “Agh! Finally!” He lifted the bowl to his mouth, pouring the food into it, swallowing it quickly. It was gone in a few minutes. “Haha, thanks! So, now what?”

Dipper reached out, wiping her lips with his sleeve. “You're really messy... okay,” he took a seat on the couch. “So, you need to explain to me why you think what you told me.”

“Years ago, Sixer and Old Man tricked me and nearly killed me.” Bill crossed his long, delicate looking arms. “But I was trapped in someone's body. The most boring, irritating person I'll EVER meet... I got cast out of that body finally, and then I traveled for a long time... and I ended up in this body, in the hospital.”

“In the hospital...” Dipper frowned, thinking. “Why?”

“I don't know. They said I was 'in a coma' and they didn't think I'd ever wake up, and then I did, but clearly they didn't, I did?” Bill shrugged. “So, I think this was just a vacant body, and so I took it over.”

“I don't really like the idea of this, but, it's really possible she'd never wake up, so... I guess, at least her body has a use. What about her family?” Dipper frowned.

“Eh? I don't know... there wasn't one? No one came to visit or anything, so I don't think they had one,” Bill shrugged. “Anyway, I don't know what this world's like, I need you to teach me everything about it!”

“Um, I... can't, actually? I'm too busy, working,” Dipper rubbed his neck. “I just published a book, but I have... I've got to work on my next one.”

“Pine Tree, I don't know how to live. I was barely surviving! If you don't agree to teach me what I don't know, I'll die, and it'll be completely your fault,” Bill scowled.

Dipper rubbed his forehead. “I need to call my sister... I've got to call someone and tell them...”

Bill scowled, but Dipper dialed his sister, putting her on speaker. He sighed until she answered the phone. “Dipper! Hey! It's been a while since I've heard from you! I heard your latest book is going to be published next year?”

“Yeah...” Dipper nodded. “It's a decent one... but, I've got some things to talk about, sorry...”

“... Aren't you going to hurry this up? Quit messing around and just talk to her!” Bill scolded.

Mabel gasped. “Dipper, do you have a woman there with you? Are you dating a woman?”

“No! I'm... I'm not. Okay, I ran into a woman at the park, and she begged me for food and told me she was Bill Cipher! A human woman!”

Mabel fell silent, stunned by what he said. “She's... lost her mind?”

“I've lost nothing!” Bill scowled. “Look, I can tell you every last detail of 8 years ago! I can tell you I hate Sixer the most, and then that Old Man, and then you and Shooting Star! I hate everyone who stopped me from accomplishing my goals, but, now I'm defenseless, and you're going to help me or I'm going to find a way to get revenge on you!”

“... Okay, so, Mabel, this is really Bill, but he's in a woman's body and he can't access any of his powers or anything,” Dipper told her. “So... do you think... I mean, I'm fundamentally against helping them, but, if I don't, I think they'll starve to death.”

“Well, you got to help them,” Mabel nodded.

“Sure, alright, I will. First, I'll teach him some basic things on how to live as a human, and then we'll worry about other stuff like jobs and general life,” Dipper nodded. “Okay, I'll see you, Mabel.” He hung up the phone.

“Good, I learned about the body releasing fluids and other things,” Bill frowned. “I don't like it...”

“Alright, first up, when you feel like you need to go, you have to go to a toilet, I'll show you,” Dipper took them to the bathroom, showing them the toilet. “Okay, you need to take your pants and underwear off, and sit down on this, and release all of that...”

“Okay, I'll try it,” Without thinking about it, Bill did as Dipper suggested, sitting down on it, beginning to pee.

Dipper flushed crimson. “Oh... man... Bill, you have a really... okay. You have a really attractive female body. You can't just get naked like that and pee in front of me,” he turned his back to Bill.

“Okay, it stopped,” Bill looked at him. “What now?”

“Okay, now you take that paper in that roll and you wipe it up you and you get all the pee off of you,” Dipper pointed blindly. “Go ahead and try it.”

“Hmm. Complicated,” Bill scowled, but they took some and they did their best. After a couple of minutes, they determined they were done. “Finished it,”

“Okay, now pull your underwear and pants back up. You do the same when you do the other thing that isn't peeing...” Dipper waited until Bill was done with pulling their pants up. He turned back around. “Alright, so now you hit that silver thing and push it down... Good, and then you're done in here. You turn this on,” he showed Bill the sink and turned it on for him. “And you put the soap on your hands and wash them in this water.”

Once that was over, they went back to the living room. “Okay, are you still hungry?” Dipper asked.

Bill thought a moment. “Yes.”

“Okay, I'll get you some more food. Come here, I'll show you how to heat up food, and then I'll leave you to eat it or read some books while I work on my story.”

He instructed Bill on how to heat his food up, and took him back to the living room, sitting down at his computer desk. He left Bill to eat his food, and focused on his writing.

The concept of someone like Bill, in a female body, with no knowledge of the world, that was a really interesting concept. He began writing, and finally, he burned out again, saving and closing the file out. “Such a pain,” he muttered. He turned to look at Bill, noticing him reading one of the books from Dipper's shelves. He turned on the TV to watch whatever was on.

The rest of the night passed like that, Bill reading until he fell asleep on the couch, and Dipper turned the TV off and went to bed.

 

Bill woke him up the next morning by actually being on top of him, beaming down at him. “Hi, good morning! Teach me things!”

Dipper turned crimson. “Hey, Bill, I know you don't know much about humans but... uh, get off me?”

“Why?” Bill questioned.

“Okay, look, humans... human men, we... when there's a really beautiful, uh, person we're attracted to, on top of us, first thing in the morning, it's... really bad,” Dipper managed, choking out of embarrassment. He was definitely having an early morning reaction, and Bill had taken over a super hot body.

Bill wriggled in enthusiasm, practically bouncing on him. “Come on, get up, it's such a good day and you've got a lot of teaching to do!”

“Ah-” Dipper managed, grabbing Bill by the shoulders. “You have to get off me! Stop it!”

“Well, hurry up and get up!” Bill bounced again.

Out of irritation and too much feeling, Dipper shoved Bill off of him with full strength. “Stop it! It's... okay, humans can't, Bill, you can't do this to me! If you do this again, I'll lock my door!”

“Why?” Bill demanded, irritated at getting shoved off of him.

“Bill, humans have a sex drive!” Dipper stalked off toward the bathroom.

Bill didn't understand, but before they could ask more questions, Dipper disappeared into the bathroom.

 

When Dipper came out again, he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Okay... Don't do that tomorrow, Bill, I will definitely lock the door on you.”

“I don't understand what you yelled at me before you left,” Bill frowned. “Why are those connected?”

“Okay... look, when you have guys who are...” He slumped down on the couch. “Who care about women and value them and appreciate them... they almost all have a moment where they physically lust after the beautiful women, especially when those women are exactly in a place where those kinds of things occur. It makes it very hard, but when we actually care about the women, we don't react to it or force ourselves on them. If it wasn't me, if it was a guy who didn't care about women, or you, or anything over his own needs... you'll end up in a really bad situation.”

Bill frowned. “What kind of situation?”

“Okay, you know how, you claim you're Bill, right? So you were super powerful, and limitless, and just... terrifying, right?” Dipper looked at her. “Okay, right now, you might be a woman who deserves respect and kindness and understanding... but you are incredibly physically weak. I could break you over my knee, and there's nothing you could do. Imagine a man much bigger and much stronger than me, and that's not even hard to do. He could easily, easily force you down, grope you relentlessly, and force you to have sex with him, and there's nothing you could really do but scream and struggle and cry. You couldn't even really fight him. And the idea of him groping you is maybe even nice, trying to get you to feel pleasure, a lot of men literally don't care, they want you to give them pleasure and they don't care about how you feel. Not all men will do this... but there are the ones who will. So if you're stuck here in this world, in that body, you need to take self defense courses. You'll also need a job, to pay for your house, and your electricity, clothes, everything.”

“Hmm,” Bill pouted. “Do I have to? Can't you take care of me?”

Dipper flinched. “I... shouldn't have to, Bill. You need to be able to survive without me. If I die, you need to be able to keep living. Do you want to depend on me to make sure you survive?”

Bill scowled. “No, I don't.”

“I figured,” Dipper agreed. “Okay, I will help you do what you need to to survive... but, if you really end up successful here, I would like you to return my kindness in the future.”

Bill huffed. “Fine, whatever, so what am I doing?”

“Okay, the first thing we need you to do is go take a really long bath,” Dipper pointed toward the bathroom. “You're extremely dirty, your hair is a mess, and you need to clean everything.”

“I have no idea what you want me to do,” Bill frowned.

“Well...” Dipper flushed. “... No, I can handle it. You're a child. Come on, I'll show you how to do it... I won't lose my mind seeing a naked woman.”

They went into the bathroom and Dipper showed Bill how to set the temperature of the water and began it filling. He set her down on the toilet and brushed her hair out, starting from the bottom and brushing his way up, getting all the knots and leaves out of it. When that was done, he turned the water off. “Okay, take all your clothes off and climb in here and sit down in it.”

Bill looked down into it, before shrugging and taking all their clothes off, climbing into the tub and sitting down. “Now what?”

Dipper took careful, lengthy pains to explain to Bill everything she needed to do to get clean. Finally, when the water was a murky shade of brown clear, they drained the water and Dipper rinsed Bill off one more time, trying to focus hard on the concept of Bill being Bill and not a woman. Then Dipper handed her a towel and she wiped the towel all over her. Dipper went off to find something for Bill to wear, returning a little while later.

“Hi, sorry. Okay, these are my sister's but I don't think she'll be too upset, I'll just replace what I'm giving you,” Dipper handed them over. “Alright, put these on,”

Bill managed to get the clothes on, now that she was dry, and grinned at Dipper. “All done!”

“Not yet, my sister's routine is longer than this. Come here,” Dipper led her over to the sink and showed Bill how to brush her long hair out, toweling the bottom back out again once it was brushed. “You have really long hair.”

“I don't know the point of this stuff,” Bill glanced at it over her shoulder.

“Oh, well, if you get a physical urge to take a partner, long hair is a sign of a more beautiful woman, and men will be more attracted to a long haired woman in general,” Dipper shrugged. “Personally, I don't care... I don't think women are more beautiful if their hair is longer.”

“Hmm. Perhaps I'll hack it off,” Bill tugged on it.

“No, don't do that, I'll take you to someone who knows how to cut hair,” Dipper winced. “Just pick a haircut out of a magazine or something and cut it like that.”

“Sure,” Bill released it, heading off to the living room. Dipper followed after him, cooking the two of them breakfast.

“Okay, I'm going to cook breakfast, and after we eat, I'll go get you a book on getting a job and you can read it, and I'll keep working on my book,” Dipper nodded, going into the kitchen, cooking the breakfast.

They ate the breakfast, Bill eating a majority of the food Dipper cooked, and they went out to get the book. After they bought the book, they went back to the house. Bill settled on the couch, beginning to read his book.

Dipper continued writing on his book, leaving Bill to focus on his reading. After about an hour, Mabel called, and Dipper answered, absently. “Hi, Mabel...”

“How is he?” Mabel asked.

“She is fine,” Dipper nodded. “Passed through the night was fine, she washed all up this morning, I gave her some of your clothes, she looks pretty good. I'll replace what she's wearing when you come down.”

“Oh, yeah? Send me a picture, I want to see Bill! Or... wait, what's her name now?” Mabel asked, puzzled.

“We haven't picked one,” Dipper frowned. “Hold on.” He turned around to look at Bill. “Yo, what new name do you want to have? This could be permanent, so pick the best name you can think of.”

Bill thought a moment. “...In the hospital, they called me Alex, Alex... mmm.” Bill rummaged around, getting a purse out. He looked at it. “Alex Winters.”

“Okay, that's your name now then,” Dipper nodded. “Okay, her name's Alex Winters. It's the name the body had when she took it over. The body Bill took over was one that the hospital didn't think would ever wake up, so basically it was dead when it happened. Don't worry about anything going corrupt.”

“Well... that's good, at least,” Mabel sighed. “Anyway, send me a picture of him!”

“Her, Mabel,” Dipper corrected. “And, okay, hold on.” He turned to face Bill, taking a picture of her. He sent it to Mabel.

Mabel fiddled with her phone. “Oh... oh wow, okay. She looks really good in that outfit, but I think the bra is a little small for her, you'll need to take her bra shopping. But, wow, she looks exactly like... like any normal girl! Are you sure?”

“I'm either sure or I had to teach a twenty something woman how to take a bath this morning, step by step so I sure do hope it's Bill,” Dipper frowned.

“... I- I, uh...” Mabel stammered. “You... you. How. Dipper, how did you...?”

“I grit my teeth, I reminded me carefully that it was Bill, and I kept working,” Dipper rubbed his hair. “Anyway, it was okay. That wasn't nearly as bad as her climbing on top of me first thing upon my waking up and bouncing and squirming all over me. That was... some- something else. At least in the tub she wasn't... Well, anyway. So, that's Bill, or, Alex,” Dipper gestured toward her.

“Well... uh, tell, tell her hi,” Mabel managed, flustered.

“This book is really boring!” Bill complained.

“Sorry, but I'm pretty sure you will have a hard time finding a job without your memories of working, or your knowledge of where you went to school or anything... you're going to need as much knowledge of how to work as you can!” Dipper frowned.

“Why can't you take care of me?” Bill scowled.

“Oh my god, she's a perfect woman,” Mabel breathed out, shocked to hear them talk. “No, tell her that. Tell Bill she's a perfect woman.”

“I will not, just because she is a good actor, it doesn't mean she can't be equal to everyone else. Why should she reduce herself below anyone else?” Dipper frowned. “Mabel says you're a perfect woman, but if you reduce yourself below people to get everything you want, you don't know how they'll treat you! You are perfectly capable of getting what you need and earning it yourself.”

Bill huffed, looking back at the book. “Fine. … But I do not feel... normal,”

“What's wrong?” Dipper frowned. “Do you need to use the bathroom? Or something?”

“No...” Bill pursed her lips. “I feel... it is hard to move and sit up. And my eyes want to close as though I am dying.”

“No, it sounds like you just need sleep,” Dipper reassured. “Lay down and get some sleep.”

Bill lay down on the couch, grumbling and complaining, but it was just a moment or two later before Bill was sleeping.

“Okay, she's asleep, I'm going to let you go so she can sleep,” Dipper said, in a soft voice. “I'll do as much writing as I can while she sleeps.”

“Sounds good, good luck with your next book,” Mabel agreed.

“Thanks, good luck with your job too,” They hung up the phone after that, both of them turning to focus on their tasks. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

They hung up, and Dipper focused hard on his writing, coming up with a good basic outline and concept of the story. He followed that up with a list of the characters he thought would be good for the tale, and he finally had the general concept of what he wanted to write. He began to write the rough first draft of his first chapter, just managing to finish the first draft when Bill stirred awake.

Dipper swore softly, checking the time. Eight hours! Of course Bill would finally wake up now...

She sat up, rubbing her face. “I... sleeping is such a weird thing to do.”

“It- it is,” Dipper agreed. “Are you well rested?”

“I don't know what that means,” Bill complained. “... You just sat there?”

“I made a lot of progress on my novel,” Dipper nodded. “I think I've got the basic idea fleshed out. Tomorrow, I can take you to the Mystery Shack and you can talk to Soos about what he looks for in employees.”

“Mm, sure,” Bill rubbed her eyes. “I'm hungry.”

“Oh, of course. I'm running low on food though, I need to go to the store tomorrow,” Dipper frowned. “Let's just go out to the diner, get something.”

“Whatever,” Bill muttered.

Dipper helped her brush her hair, and then they went out to go to the diner. They both ordered dinner and Dipper told Bill more about what she might have to do at work.

The waitress came to deliver their meals and she seemed very excited to see Bill. “Alex! Darling, it's been so long since I've seen you! You look really well since your accident, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you.”

Bill studied her. “I- see. I'm sorry, what happened to me? I haven't spoken with anyone who knew me before it...”

“Oh, darling, you don't know? Well... you look really well. I don't want you to get overwhelmed when you hear about it. It's better to not know,” she reassured. “Alex, just don't worry. You look and sound amazing.”

“Well... that's... good,” Bill paused. “Thanks. Who are you?”

“I'm just an old friend of yours, Mary,” she assured. “Well, enjoy your food!”

“We will, thank you,” Dipper nodded.

They started eating and Bill grinned at it. “This stuff is really good!”

“It is,” Dipper agreed. “When I'm too busy with work and stuff, I don't really go out of my way to cook dinner for myself. Luckily they added some stuff to the diner that I can eat. It's pretty good. They can even pour my fried food oil into the other oil... they just refill my frier every time I come here and order a fried product. I even bought the friar and the oil for it... so it works out.”

“Well, that's too nice of you,” Bill muttered.

They continued eating until they finished. They headed home, Dipper stopping into a liquor store, picking up some drinks. Back at home, he nursed them pretty relentlessly at first, slowing down at his third, little too large, Screwdriver.

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“I'm super stressed out...” Dipper managed, looking over at him. “I'm so stressed out... Taking care of you, teaching you how to live... writing my book, maintaining my house, living, existing, I'm so stressed out, I can't stand it...”

“Hmm,” Bill frowned. “Well, what would help you?”

“I don't know...” Dipper looked toward the ceiling. “A really cute girl who wants to be with me? My life to get less destructive? I don't know...”

Bill hummed, confused. “I'm a girl now, right?”

“Ugh, no,” Dipper held his hand up. “I know you're a guy, it's not... nah.”

Bill huffed. “You don't know what I am, Pine Tree!”

“... Huh? So, what are you, then?” Dipper questioned, confused.

“You couldn't conceive of it,” Bill rolled her eyes. “We have genders far and beyond your primitive amount... thousands... you can't conceive of what I am.”

“Well... interesting,” Dipper sighed.

“You're acting weird,” Bill answered, irritated.

“You're in a stupidly hot body so congratulations to you,” Dipper cheered him with his screwdriver. “You are incredibly weird,” Bill scowled. “Is it these drinks?”

“It very much is,” Dipper swung his arm out, holding the drink in it. “Wanna try it?”

Bill frowned, taking the drink, trying a small sip of it. “That is... huh...” She peered down into it. “It is... so strange... it is... similar to the taste of that Pitt, but, it is also really fiery, and... kind of painful. I do not like it...”

“Yeah, you'd like it even less the following day...” Dipper agreed. “Even less...”

Bill rolled her eyes. “Will you continue to do this?”

“Ah, once I finish this one, I'm going to bed,” Dipper sighed. “So... you can do whatever you want.”

“I need to go take a bath,” Bill pointed. “So... Finish your weird drink and go to bed.”

Dipper chuckled. “Sure, you go on,” he gestured toward the bathroom.

Bill headed off to the bathroom and Dipper fidgeted with his drink. _What am I supposed to do? I really have a need..._ Dipper went to the bedroom, letting his mind wander. He ended up reflecting on the mental image he had of Bill naked in the bath, this time in clean water... and he found his body reacting to the thoughts.

Ah... well, once wouldn't hurt...

 

Over the next week, Bill settled more and more into life as a female human, and on the seventh day, Bill was on the couch watching TV. Dipper glanced over, trying not to chuckle at her. She was lying upside down on the couch, legs up over the back of it, somehow managing to still watch TV even like that. It was actually … getting kind of weird for Dipper.

He found himself spending more and more time just watching Bill and enjoying seeing her lounge around his house, read his books, watch TV, and learn how to dress up and live in a way that meant she could get a job.

Her choice to lay upside down on his couch was really cute, but also, her skirt was sliding upwards and it provided him a full view of Bill's thighs and... a flash of her underwear and it was making it super impossible for him to focus on his writing or anything serious at all. His heart was definitely racing seeing her like that. And she was entirely not noticing him.

So Dipper had all the time he wanted to admire her there, like that. He admired her for a while before she sighed, reaching for the remote. “This TV is so boring right now,” she sighed, looking over at Dipper. “You're not writing?”

“I am taking a break, my brain is hurting,” Dipper admitted, glancing away from her skirt that was creeping too high. She was really... Geez. Bill was a mess.

“Oh... well, good, I'm really bored!” Bill sat up on her elbows. “Entertain me!”

“How's your job search going?” Dipper asked.

Bill pouted. “It's... going...”

Seeing her pouting, Dipper's chest tightened, and he coughed. Her expression was so hurt and she looked so sad... it made him feel bad for her. “Well, don't worry, jobs are a little hard to get... Don't worry about it. Want to put in some of my DVDs? You haven't really looked through them much,”

“Hmm, right,” she flipped off the couch, going over to the DVD shelf. “... Hmm... Lot of weird titles in there,”

“Yeah, they have some weird names,” Dipper agreed, going over to the couch, settling down on it.

She dug through, until she encountered one she was interested in. She pulled it off the shelf, studying it. “Oh! This one! Definitely!”

“What one is that?” Dipper asked, taking a drink of his soda.

“Mm, you'll see!” Bill grinned, running over to the DVD player. She fidgeted until the opening screen popped up and Dipper groaned from deep inside his core.

“No... not this one, seriously,” Dipper covered his face. “Look, you picked the literal worst... This isn't even a movie! This is just a... this is just, a private film people don't watch with friends...?” Dipper managed. “Seriously, don't play this... It's... It's a video about humans having sex, and that's...”

“I don't know how human do it!” Bill beamed. “Let me see! I want to watch it...”

Dipper didn't move. “... I really don't want to... I literally own it, I don't need to. I'm going to go out if you're going to watch this.”

Bill climbed onto the couch, cozying up to Dipper, pushing the play button on the remote. Dipper got up, going over to the door, tugging his shoes on. “I'm stepping out... I'm too embarrassed. Keep all your questions in your head, I'll answer them later...”

The TV kept playing, and Dipper felt increasingly embarrassed. Finding one of these with cryptids in it had been nearly impossible, but more than that, that Bill had found it... it was too much.

Dipper rode around town until he was sure it was over, and he drove home again, feeling nervous that it wasn't over or something worse.

When he got in the room, Bill was watching her usual TV show. She sat up on her arms, smiling at him. “Hello, hello, hello,” she waved.

Dipper coughed. “Hi, Bill.”

“Okay, I wrote down all my questions,” she waved a paper around.

“What- what language is that? I've never seen that before,” Dipper wrinkled his nose.

“Eh... it was from the second dimension,” Bill looked at it. “Anyway, okay, first question. Is that just generally how humans do it?”

Dipper shifted on his feet, nervous. “I'm gonna sit down, first,” he shuffled slowly over to the couch, sitting down slowly. “Okay... is that generally how it works... a little yes, but also a lot no. See, that girl is a cryptid, and humans don't have those kinds of powers. She was a succubus, so she fed off of... the, the white stuff,”

“Cum,” Bill chimed in.

Dipper choked. “Uh... y-yeah... and... it helped her live, so she had to get as much of it as- as she could... which is why there was the... mouth thing, and then the... as many rounds as he could do... and then she had him call his friends, because she wanted more... and... believe me, the general concept of that is nothing like real life. Most people don't engage in that much foreplay, and it's pretty rare to call in your friends to have the woman you just had... it's occasional, but rare. People don't share like that. Most women aren't that open.”

“Hmm, okay,” Bill frowned. “You answered my second question, why did she have powers...” Bill scratched the first two off.

“Right. Got to get through them,” Dipper rubbed his face. “I'm so embarrassed, I could just die...”

“Well, don't die yet, I still have more questions. Okay, next one, this one is personal to you... Why did you get this one?”

“... Well...” Dipper trailed off. “This is... a question I don't like.”

“Answer it anyway.”

“Okay... I've always liked supernatural things and cryptids... There were some I thought would be really good fodder for... for these kinds of videos, but... I didn't see any... and I looked a lot, and no luck. Then one day, I happened to catch this one, and... I thought, well, I was looking for it, I found it, so I'm getting it... I haven't seen any other real licensed ones... Anyway, I thought a succubus licensed one was really good,” Dipper rubbed his neck. “So...”

“Not on my list but is that amount of... pre-sex sex what you're about?” Bill crossed the last one off.

“Foreplay...” Dipper rubbed his neck. “I mean, it depends? If she's already really into it, it's not urgent, I'll do about five or ten minutes... but if she's not that into it, I'll go on until she is. One time, it was our anniversary, and I really wanted her to feel happy. It went on for a really long time... maybe forty minutes? We didn't time it.”

“Hmm,” Bill nodded. “Now, is it always like that? The actual in and enjoyment kind of thing, is that normal? I checked, I have an in as well...”

“Ye- yes, it's... that part is normal. The foreplay stuff was pretty normal too,” Dipper sighed. He suffered through all of Bill's questions, before finally finishing the questions.

Bill tapped her cheek with the pen, thinking. “Alright, so, I want to know what that's about personally. Can we do that?”

Dipper choked. “N- no, we can't. In real life, it's... I mean, some people do it without love or emotions or feelings... but most people choose to wait for love. I think you should wait and see how you are.”

“I really don't think any human is going to matter to me,” Bill answered, tilting her head. “They're all worthless in the grand scheme of things. And this body means nothing to me...”

“No, I can't,” Dipper insisted, blushing. “I can't... I'm still teaching you how to live as a human... I won't be able to deal with you the same if I have to repress those memories.”

“Boo. Well, fine, do you have a friend or someone I can experience it with?” Bill questioned, curious.

“Mmm... I guess... I have some friends here who might be worth it... I recommend you date them and make sure you like them first,” Dipper shrugged, his heart tightening in his chest.

“Call them now,” Bill instructed.

Dipper chuckled. “Fine, I'll call one,” he dialed the first friend on his list, tipping his head back. “Yo, what's up? I haven't talked to you in a while... I know, it's been a long time. Are you free right now? I need you here. I got a surprise for you.”

Bill giggled, excited.

“Yeah, really. It's not a gift, entirely, but I rescued a girl from the park... she's a little jumbled up but a good girl. She's super hot, too. Yeah. Super hot. Anyway, she's wanting to find someone to date... and I told her I can't do that. So I thought I'd see if you and her have a connection. Come over. I'll send you a picture while you get ready to go,” Dipper nodded.

They chatted another minute, before hanging up. Dipper sent him a picture before bringing up one of his pictures with him. “This is the guy,” he showed Bill. “His name's Andrew.”

Bill studied the picture with a serious eye. “He kind of looks like that second guy from that video.”

Dipper flinched. “Does- does he? … Oh my god, you're right. Alex, don't make those connections, I don't want them,”

“Sure, whatever,” Bill shrugged. “Anyway, I wonder if he's that size?”

“Eh, I talked to my buddies once about it, he's about six,” Dipper shrugged. “He's a little smaller than that guy in the video.”

“Oh... well, that's fine,”

“It is. Sometimes people who are smaller put more effort in,” Dipper reassured. “Anyway, date him for about a month, make sure you like him.”

Bill rolled her eyes. “I'll try...”

 

Dipper answered the door about an hour later, smiling at him. “Hey, Andrew. Come on in.”

“Thanks!” Andrew slapped his shoulder. “You never call me, man, I was starting to feel like a wagon with only one turning wheel...” He came in, glancing at Bill. “So this is your new friend, right? She's beautiful! Hi, I'm Andrew,” he took her hand in his, shaking it.

“Thanks, I'm Alex,” Bill smiled. “I was born this way, I guess! I don't know.”

“You don't know?” Andrew settled down on the couch next to her.

“Right, I woke up in the hospital a month or so ago,” Bill shrugged. “I don't really have many memories... I just assume I always looked like this...”

Dipper settled down at his laptop. He could write now, if he could clear his mind... hopefully those two worked out. He continued writing, tuning them out for a while.

“I saw one of Dipper's videos, and there was a guy who looked a lot like you!” Bill smiled. “Not identical, but really similar...”

“Oh, really? What one was that?” Andrew laughed, curious.

Dipper's head shot up. “Ah! Bill, don't talk about that stuff!”

“... Why? Is there something weird about it?” Bill frowned.

“Bill?” Andrew frowned. “A nickname?”

“Yes, I was called Bill by a friend in the hospital, she didn't tell me why, my name is actually Alex,” Bill dug through his purse, showing his ID to Andrew. “It's just common for people to call me that.”

“Oh, wow, okay. That's cool, I don't mind, I was just hoping I wasn't being tricked or something,” Andrew laughed. “And why can't she tell me what video? Was it a porn?” He grinned, eyes glinting.

“It was!” Bill nodded. “It's called...” She strolled over to the DVD player, picking up the case. “Liquid Sustainment. It's about a succubus. One of the friends of the main guy, he looks kind of like you,”

Dipper hid his face, embarrassed. He didn't know what to say.

Andrew walked over and took a look at the case. “Hmm... oh, this guy here? A little, we have the same hair, and similar nose, but the eyes are different... Dipper, you're into demons and stuff?” He grinned at him.

“You know I like cryptids,” Dipper answered, awkwardly.

“Whatever, I guess,” Andrew rolled his eyes. “This is pretty weird... I never had it for those kinds of things.”

“Demons are different than you think,” Dipper murmured, continuing to type.

“What? You going to say that like you've met one?”

Bill laughed, settling back on the couch. “He has! I used to be one...” she crossed her legs high, giving Andrew a flirty smile.

“Oh, quit teasing me,” Andrew grinned back at her. “Alex, I know you aren't a demon. How do you stop being one?” He settled on the couch next to her.

“Ah... such a complicated story,” Bill smirked, turning to face him. “I was one, the most powerful one in anywhere... But a group of humans got in my way and meddled so hard... they almost killed me, but I summoned the number... mmm, maybe three? Maybe he's stronger than me... I don't know... and he took all of my powers and put me into another one's body, so far in the past... It was horrible. Then I got split away from him and I woke up in the hospital, like this.”

“You're really inventive, making that up on the spot,” Andrew grinned.

“Oh, you're funny... I wish I'd made it all up,” Bill chuckled.

“Well, you're serious, huh? What did you look like?” He smirked, amused.

“Alex looked like a really scary thing...” Dipper trailed off.

“Oh, man,” Bill rubbed her face. “I need to use the bathroom, one moment.”

She went off to use the bathroom and Andrew watched her go. “Super hot, pretty friendly though, I like her quite a bit! You're not going for that?”

“It's too hard for me to date Alex and also teach Alex how to be a human, she's got some difficulty with her abilities to live,” Dipper kept typing. “You know, demons don't have to do any of the basic living stuff humans do...”

“Quit with that, it's cute when she plays it, you, it's weird,” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, if she's a demon, isn't that even more your thing?”

“It's a little different because she used to present as a man, when she was a demon... she wasn't one, but it gave her more power among humans...” Dipper trailed off. “She used to be a really big triangle... with a large eye in the center and a bow tie.”

“Let me google it, see where you're making this up from,” Andrew checked on his phone. “... You're making Illuminati jokes at me?”

“Are you kidding, no way,” Dipper frowned. “I don't know, maybe she made up the Illuminati.”

“Weird...” Andrew put his phone away. “Anyway, she's hot, if you won't date her, I will,”

“Go for it,” Dipper nodded.

They continued talking for another couple moments, before Bill returned, flopping down next to him. “So, you wanna hear what I looked like as Bill Cipher, the great demon?” Bill teased him, taking his arm.

“Yup, I'd love to hear it,” Andrew nodded, grinning.

“I was a perfect triangle, a vibrant yellow... I had a single eye in my perfect front, and a bow tie, of course. And a cane,” Bill gripped his arm, teasingly kneading it. “I was considered male, because throughout your universe's history, men have had more power than women. It worked, I used to rule Egypt,” Bill giggled.

“Cute, the triangle thing. I bet the pyramids were dedicated to you,” Andrew teased.

“Absolutely!” Bill nodded.

“Cute,” Andrew put his arm around her.

Dipper tuned out their flirting and teasing, continuing to write. He wrote for a while, undistracted, before he heard someone calling to him.

“Huh?” He looked up.

“I was just getting hungry, thinking about going out to eat in the next town over... I invited Alex... you want to come?” Andrew asked.

Dipper could tell Andrew didn't want him to come. He smiled, shaking his head. “No, you two go on. I have food here, I'll eat it.”

“Oh, cool, well, let's go, baby,” he put his hand on her hip, pulling her close. They headed out, Dipper waving goodbye to them.

 

They returned several hours later, really close and intimate, Andrew seeing Bill inside. “Take it easy, baby. I'll be by to see you tomorrow after work... Have a good night,”

“You too,” Bill giggled. He bent down to give her a polite forehead kiss and she interrupted it with her lips, pulling him into a surprise kiss. “Night,” she skirted off to the couch.

“Night, Andrew,” Dipper waved.

“Later,” Andrew waved, heading off.

Dipper stretched. “How'd it go?”

Bill sighed. “It wasn't anything special, but he wasn't annoying. I won't mind it.”

“He's a decent guy but he acts a little too young in my opinion,” Dipper continued writing. “But that's good for you, you always acted really young too.”

“He has a lot of money too, which is good! Seemed like more than you,”

Dipper snorted.

Bill frowned. “What was that about?”

“He doesn't have more than me,” Dipper said, absently, continuing to write.

“What, really? He bought so many more things than you do,” Bill said, surprised.

“No, he's not poor, but if you buy a lot of things and spend a lot... you don't have a lot of money, you just have things. My apartment is really pretty empty, and I don't have much. I save so I can have,” Dipper nodded. “Believe me, he doesn't make more than me...”

“Well, even if he doesn't make more, he's more generous with it,” Bill pouted.

“Everything you have now, you have because of me... So you can't compare him taking you to dinner with me getting you clothes and feeding you and doing everything for you...” Dipper answered. “Give it a month and see if it holds like that. Where did you eat?”

“I don't know, some restaurant he said was really fancy. The food was pretty good,” Bill shrugged.

“Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it,” Dipper agreed. “I was busy writing, I didn't get a chance to eat... I better go do that.”

“Hmm,” Bill looked at him. “Yes, you should.”

“I'm going to eat and get some sleep,” Dipper yawned. “Don't mind me.”

“Sure,” Bill flopped down on her back. Dipper got some food from the kitchen, standing in the doorway while he munched on his bag of chips. He gazed at her, watching her rest peacefully on the couch.

She really was incredibly cute... he found himself wasting so much time just looking at her... admiring just how cute she was. He continued eating, looking at her. Bill looked over at him. “What is it?”

“Nothing, just thinking. I'm heading off to my room,” Dipper headed off, carrying the chips to his room.

The whole thing today had been his idea. Getting Andrew and Bill to date... It had been his idea... But somehow, seeing it? It had hurt. He really did like Bill, and that way, even... She was... it was a surprise. He never would have thought that he'd like Bill that way.

Rubbing his face, Dipper thought to himself maybe he should hurry up and find someone to date... It was getting to be a situation he didn't want.

 

The next day, Dipper got a call for Bill, and he gave her the phone. She greeted them, listening and responding appropriately. She finally hung up, looking at Dipper. “I have a job interview in a few days,”

“That's good! I hope you'll get it,” Dipper agreed.

“I hope so,” Bill handed him the phone back.

It was really tough because... Bill was getting harder to handle. Or... Alex... He guessed. It could have been possible that she wasn't really Bill, but she knew things that no one who wasn't Bill or there with them those years ago. So it had to be so... “Well, do you have a proper outfit to go for interviews?” Dipper set his phone down.

“I don't know, you bought them...” Bill shrugged. “Are they good?”

“Hmm. Nah, I'll take you out to get you some more clothes for your interview... maybe tomorrow? I'm really into this writing today, sorry,” Dipper continued typing.

“Mmm,” Bill pouted. “I'm going to go wander the town, you better come find me if I don't come back!”

“Sure, I'll do that,” Dipper said, absently.

Around two, Dipper realized that Bill had been gone about five hours. Maybe she had gotten lost... He got up, heading to his car. He drove around town until he spotted a smoking sign in the distance, and he drove to it immediately, afraid Bill had caused problems.

She was cowering under a bench, a smoking bench, blackened by something, looking out nervously. When Bill saw Dipper, she ran to him, throwing herself into the car. “We have to go!”

“Go? Did you do this?” Dipper demanded. “This park is a crater!”

“No I didn't, we have to go!” Bill ordered.

Dipper sped off for home, choosing to believe Bill, doubts still festering inside him. When they got home, Bill crawled under the couch, cowering still. “Okay, you need to tell me what happened,” Dipper frowned, arms crossed.

“It's weird. I don't know...” Bill scooted toward the edge a bit more, and Dipper could just see her pretty green eyes looking up at him. “I was wandering, and suddenly, someone appeared, I've never seen this demon before... it was determined to kill me... it was just turning the park into wreckage and I was sure I was done... then he got called away. I don't know why, he suddenly had to go. He said he'd be back,” Bill pouted.

“Oh... no, that's really serious, I need to contact Grunkle Ford and see if he has any suggestions,” Dipper rubbed his face.

Bill stuck her leg out. “See my leg? He got me there... it really feels funny!”

“Yeah, it's burnt pretty bad. You need to come out from in there and get your leg fixed,” Dipper lightly touched her leg. “While I'm healing it, we'll-”

There was a knock at the door and Bill flattened herself against the floor, hiding herself back under the couch.

Dipper sighed and went to check it. “Yo, Andrew... She's under the couch,” he pointed.

“Under the couch?” Andrew walked over, kneeling down to look. “Hey, Alex, why are you under there? It's got to be pretty dirty under there.”

Bill pouted. “I got attacked at the park,” she scooted out, looking up at him. “See my leg? It almost destroyed the entire park, my leg got burned!”

“Oh, man, that's really bad! Come on, I think Dipper has some first aid kit stuff in his bathroom. If not, we'll take you to get your leg fixed,” Andrew helped her stand up, and he took her to the bathroom to get it fixed.

Dipper went back to his computer, beginning to write again. Andrew had been his idea... but he felt so sulky seeing him interacting with Bill that way. When they came back out, Bill's pants were ripped off of the burned leg and she was giggling and holding onto Andrew's arm. “You're so weird!”

“I can't help it,” Andrew grinned. “Come on, come stay at my place, it's way nicer than this place.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, continuing to write.

Bill giggled. “Well, I can't, I don't want to just give it up to you that easily... I want it, but, I think I need to take a little more time before I take that risk,”

“Well, I'm not going to do anything that's going to hurt you, baby,” Andrew grinned.

“I don't even know if I've done it before... I heard it hurts if I haven't...” Bill fluttered her lashes at him, before sinking down on the couch, smiling up at him.

“Oh, well... right,” Andrew rubbed his neck. “Have you- have you dated?”

“I don't know,” Bill shook her head, pulling him down next to her. “I don't have any memory of dating... I have an apartment, or... had? I'm not sure. It's on this card with my face,” she showed him her ID.

“Huh... well, when you recover a little more, want to take a look?” Andrew looked at the address. “I live near here.”

“Um, well... yes, but also...” Bill fidgeted from the couch. “I need to wait- wait until... that guy is... gone? He kept... he kept screaming my name. I must have done something to him, I just don't know what...”

“Well... hopefully they get him taken care of,” Andrew sighed. “You seem like too nice a girl to have done something that bad to him-”

Bill giggled.

Andrew paused. “Wh- what?”

“No, I'm sure whatever I did, it was necessary...” Bill rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “I'm sure I really ruined his entire world... I don't know what I did, but I'm sure it was really terrible.”

“Ah, your demon thing, huh?” Andrew joked.

“Right, I probably destroyed his world or something,” Bill giggled. “Who knows...”

“You're something,” Andrew rolled his eyes. “You two and your Illuminati jokes...”

“Mm, I founded the Illuminati,” Bill nodded. “They were intrigued by my all-seeing power. They wanted something similar for themselves...”

“All-seeing power, huh?” Andrew chuckled.

“I can see- well, could see, through every last triangle...” She held her hands up in a triangle. “I gathered so much information. All of it...”

“You're a nut, baby. As soon as you're ready, we'll take you to your place,” he chuckled. “You can move out of Dipper's here and get settled back in your own life...”

“Right!” Bill nodded, excited.

Dipper got gloomier as the conversation went on. He finally cut them off. “Sure, she could do that, but Andrew, you forget she still doesn't know how to live on her own. I had to teach her how to poop and wipe, and bathe and that's not even close to other house chores like cooking and cleaning... She knows how to do nothing. In fact, she has a job interview coming up and I'm even nervous about her getting a job because she doesn't know what to do.”

“Well, I guess she does seem a little flaky,” Andrew sighed. “Well, once you remember how to live, you can get out.”

“Hmm... I guess, couldn't I just, like, move in with you?” Bill pouted softly.

“Damn, yeah, she's got some spaces,” Andrew ruffled her hair. “I wouldn't mind it too much, but you said you wanted to take some time.”

“Right, Alex, remember, if you die... you die for real,” Dipper frowned. “This isn't a call to anyone and escape kind of thing, when your body dies, you're over.”

“Oh... right. This body is... wait. I'll die!” Bill said, alarmed. “How- how many years do I have?”

“Oh, crap!” Dipper ran over to the couch, taking a seat next to Bill who was panicking. “Okay, look, I didn't mean to freak you out. If you eat healthy and live healthy... you could live to be 110, if you just drink and smoke and do drugs, you could die at 40, we don't know. But you need to eat healthy and start exercising. Okay? Bill. Bill, focus,”

Bill just managed to look at him, trying to calm down from her freaking out.

“You can live a while, you just need to eat well and exercise. You can get another rough 100 years if you spend a lot of time exercising, eating well, and going to the doctor to get yourself checked out regularly,” Dipper reassured him, taking her arms to help keep her focused.

“I have lived for longer than anyone on this planet can count! One hundred years is nothing!” Bill shook her head, still panicked.

“Hey, hey, hey, look, I know it's terrible, but would you rather have died like you were before this?” Dipper stared into her eyes.

Bill paused a moment. “I... I- no... no... I- I wouldn't. You're right... If I had to die... this is better. You're right. … you're right.” She pulled away from Dipper, tucking her knees against her chest. “I... I'm calm...”

“I guess it was easier for us to accept death because we were always surrounded by it...” Andrew put his arm around her. “Experiencing it for the first time ever probably is kind of a shock at your age.”

“Believe me, I've experienced it for eons... but never personally, never me. I never … I couldn't! I was the most powerful demon of all demons... but... now I'm a human,” she looked at her hands. “... Before I took this body, I was in a nightmare world, stuck in a demon who was weak and pathetic and I had no control of my own body... This is so much better,” she gripped Andrew's arm.

“Well, baby, want to go get some dinner or something? Maybe we can take your mind off of it,” Andrew squeezed her shoulder.

Bill beamed. “I'd love to! Thanks, that place you took me to yesterday was really good!”

“Wanna go back there again?” Andrew unpeeled himself from her, going over to the door, tugging his shoes on.

Bill moved with him to the door, slipping her shoes on and tying them. “Yes please! Or somewhere better, it's up to you,”

“Let's go there again, it's the best restaurant in that town,” he escorted her out. “See you, Dipper.” The door shut behind them and Dipper was left feeling mixed up. He felt so irritated and uncomfortable as everything went on... it was clear they were really getting along, but... somehow, he felt... really mixed up and unhappy. He couldn't stand that they were getting along so well and he was just left to look after them.

He decided to push it from his mind for now, and take advantage of this alone time. It was the only thing he could do now.

 

Bill stumbled into the room, giggling. “That stuff was really good! I liked the drink stuff the most,”

“Heh, I'm glad I got them for you, baby. I'm going to head home, got an early work day tomorrow,” he kissed her jaw, smiling. “Take it easy. Bye, Di- … where's Dipper?”

Bill looked around, confused. “I dunno, the bathroom?”

“Maybe. Well, tell him I said bye,” Andrew flicked her nose. “See you later.”

“Are you coming by tomorrow?” Bill asked, eagerly.

“Oh, I don't know, I'm going to be so busy,” Andrew shook his head. “If I get time, I'll swing by, but maybe not...”

“Well, alright, bye, Andrew,” Bill beamed at him.

Andrew headed out and Bill wondered where Dipper was. She checked in the kitchen and then the bathroom, no sign of him. She was just getting ready to go into the bedroom when he came out, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh, Bill, you're back! Welcome home,” He rubbed the water off his hands on his pants. “How was it again?”

“It was good!” Bill lunged at him, throwing her arms around his neck. “We wondered where you were! He said goodbye, but he wondered why you weren't there.”

“Well, I was using the bathroom in my room,” Dipper pointed, awkwardly. “Don't worry, it's alright. Were you drinking?”

“He got me two, of some kind of tails...” Bill nodded. “They were excellent! And the food tonight was even better than last night!”

“I- I see,” Dipper gently untangled her arms from around his neck. “Well, come on, let's quit standing here, go to the couch.”

“Boo,” Bill retangled her arms around his neck. “No, I want to hold this.”

Dipper chuckled. “Fine, fine, let's go. I'll hear all about it...” They moved to the couch and they continued talking until Bill finally fell asleep there. Dipper's chest squeezed, looking at her. She was so ... beautiful. Really. Even the Bill parts of her... he found himself more interested in her by the moment, even if his body screamed he shouldn't be. Especially with Alex/Bill dating his friend Andrew... it would really be scummy if he made a move on her. But drunken Alex/Bill was even cuter than the sober one... He brushed his hand across her cheek, watching her in her sleep turn toward his hand. She was really... cute. He just had to hold back until she left. He could restrain himself that long.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a lot of errors with this one initially. I had an idea and then I rejected it, started over, began again, changed my mind THREE times in the middle and I never went back and fixed the errors! Well... hopefully there aren't as many here... x_x I just couldn't see my errors.


	3. Chapter 3

Initially Dipper had been so startled to see her in his home, entirely too friendly... and it had bloomed into more since then. Now he was becoming more … fascinated by her, and her adjustment to the human world. He really liked her, and it was increasing by the day.

He couldn't show her that though... she had no more than one hour of TV experience with it, and he wasn't going to take her first experience with it in his own hands. No way. He needed to remain held back. It wasn't going to be hard, really... he just had to hold that into his mind.

He was at the grocery store, comparing two products in the produce section carefully, trying to decide which was the best to buy. A girl strode up, picking up one of the products he was comparing from the shelf. “I've tried both of them, the one on the left is really bitter,” she smiled at him. “I mean, if you really really get all the water out of it, it's eatable, but it's not worth the extra work.”

“I see, thanks!” Dipper smiled at her, putting the one on the left back. “I thought there might be a reason it was cheaper, but some cheaper products are still good.”

“I agree, I tend to buy as many cheaper foods as I can, I'll live the same regardless of the price of the foods I eat,” she agreed.

“You're very friendly,” Dipper smiled. “I guess this town in general is more friendly, it's why I moved here.”

“Oh, you moved here? Where from?” She asked, putting the item in her cart.

“California, I know, it's a weird choice, but I love the supernatural elements of this town!” Dipper chuckled.

“No, I get it,” she nodded. “I went to California for a vacation once, it was... It was nice, but the people there were really cold and unfriendly.”

“Definitely, I used to be bullied through K-8,” Dipper nodded. “Then I came here for the summer and took back some boldness with me... I wasn't pushed around by them anymore. It was another great reason not to be there.”

The two of them kept chatting as they shopped through the store, Dipper enjoying his conversation with her. By the end of it, they were passively flirting, enjoying their shopping. They got close to the checkout when suddenly, Dipper felt arms fly around his neck from behind. He yelped.

“I was looking for you!” She beamed at him.

Dipper coughed. “Oh... A- Alex, I told you where I was going...”

“A friend of yours?” The girl he'd been talking to throughout the grocery store, Emily, asked.

“Uh, y-yeah,” Dipper agreed. “Alex, let go.” He untangled her arms from around his neck. “This is Alex, she's kind of my roommate right now, but it's just as friends. She was in a really bad event a while back, and she lost her memories and her knowledge of everything. So I'm helping her learn to live and stuff... it's tough but we're doing our best. She's learning a lot!”

“Mm-hmm,” Bill wound herself around Dipper's arm. “I really am! He's taught me all kinds of things... how to use the bathroom, how to bathe... all kinds of things!”

“... O- oh?” Emily coughed. “Well, I'm sure the accident? It might have been some kind of accident, I don't know, but I'm sure it really took a lot out of you. I'm glad to see you're well, Alex. My name is Emily. I met Dipper while we were picking out some products in the fresh part of the store.”

“I see. I met him in the park, I hear I looked really bad but... I guess I look better now.”

Bill's voice was dripping with an oddly possessive tone, like Dipper wasn't allowed to talk with Emily... it struck Dipper in such a weird way. Dipper blushed slightly, not sure how to handle this. “Alex, why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what?” Bill looked up at him, through her lashes. “Pine Tree, why're you being mean?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Dipper coughed. “Ah... anyway, Emily, I'll definitely contact you. It was super cool talking to you. I'm definitely going to text you.”

“Great, I look forward to hearing from you!” Emily waved, going to check out.

Dipper led Bill to the check out, and Bill grumbled about not getting to be in the grocery store for very long. Dipper chuckled. “Sorry, you were busy, so I just went.”

“I was,” she agreed.

They checked out, and Dipper carried most of the groceries out and started loading them into the car. “So, how'd your talk with Mabel go?”

“Good, I learned some really interesting things!” Bill beamed. “I learned that there are toys you can buy too! And they make it even better!”

Dipper coughed. “O- oh? Well, you will have to wait until you get your own room for that. Let's not discuss this here.”

“Why can you handle people on TV doing it but not me?” Bill questioned.

“It's completely different,” Dipper frowned. “It's something really personal and private... unless they're prepared to be seen and watched, it's humiliating for people. And on TV, I'm basically expected to include myself privately, and in real life, I am not,”

“Well, I don't care,” Bill frowned. “Do what you want? See if you want, include yourself if you want, it doesn't mean anything to me...”

Dipper shook his head. “It means so much more to human women than you understand... Well, not all of them, but, it's a private thing.”

He closed the trunk, embarrassed to hear Bill fighting with him about it. He went to get in, Bill mumbling behind him.

“Well, it doesn't mean anything to me. Maybe if I gave you everything you wanted, I wouldn't have to work...”

Bill entered the car a moment after Dipper, looking away embarrassed.

Dipper looked away as well. “Well, for other people, maybe, but I don't think I should do that. I think you should have the right to decide everything for yourself.”

Bill humphed, ignoring Dipper as they headed for home. Dipper got home, and began to cook lunch for the two of them. It was easier in here... Not having to see Bill being extremely provocative by accident in her new body, not having to squash these feelings he was feeling for a demon... it was just easier.

The days went by, and Bill passed the interview, Dipper only assuming it had been out of pity... but he didn't know. She was quite excited, and Dipper went out and bought her a week's worth of clothes, so she could dress well at her new job.

 

Bill went in on her first day, awkwardly doing her best. In the last hour of the day, the boss called her in, looking a little tired upon seeing her.

“I assume you lost a few of your memories following the accident,” he rubbed his forehead. “Isn't that correct?”

“I lost... all of them,” Bill said, confused. “Have I done something wrong, sir?”

“No, not really... you didn't do terribly, or anything,” he gave Bill a small smile. “I understand that it's hard to work with no memories. I'm just impressed you're well enough to come in and go to work already! It was really something... come over here, have a seat.”

“Ah... well, I'm fine standing, but... I guess?” Bill frowned, walking over to take a seat. “I need to get back to work though? I've still got an hour left...”

“Don't worry, I'm the boss. It's okay. If anyone asks, I called you in here to see how you liked your first day,” he grinned at her, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Alright?”

“Umm... No people touch me like this,” she pointed at her shoulder. “Except Andrew, he's really... Why are you doing this?”

“It just means I really like you!” He grinned. “Don't worry, babe, we're just coworkers.”

“I see...” Bill paused.

“Right, Alex,” he nodded. “Just relax.” He rubbed her shoulder. A moment passed, and Bill winced.

“Um, wait, I don't think coworkers do this,” Bill gently pushed his hand off of her breast. “I am very sure they don't. My own roommate, he doesn't do this.”

“Oh, you don't want to?” He paused. “I can make you feel really good!”

When he grabbed her again, this time it was lower. She paused a moment, surprised how good it felt, before shoving him off of her, getting to her feet.

“Excuse me! I don't like this!” Bill stomped her foot. “I don't want it! I'm quitting! If this is what jobs are, I don't want one!”

She stormed off, ignoring him yelling after her. She got close to the exit when another employee stopped her. “Where are you going, Alex? You can't go, you'll lose your job!”

“The boss grabbed my boobs and my crotch! I don't want this! I'd kill him before I let him do that to me!” She threw her hands up, storming out, blowing past the employee.

 

Dipper was peacefully writing at home when the door flew open and Bill stormed in, pacing back and forth across Dipper's living room.

“Uh... Did you get off earlier than you were scheduled to?” Dipper asked. “Or... were you fired?”

“No, I quit!” Bill huffed, stomping her foot again. “I did!”

“Oh... Did you...” Dipper coughed. “Really? Why- I mean, why did you do that?”

“I worked really hard and I was really accomplishing a lot,” Bill crossed her arms, continuing to pace in anger. “I was called in to see my boss, he... he asked me how my day had gone, and I was talking with him... I took a seat in his office, as he suggested I do... and he put his arm around me... and he grabbed my boob. I told him no, don't do it, and he grabbed my waist area, that area from that film,” Bill scowled.

“... Oh,” Dipper paled. “... I'm so sorry, Bill. You didn't... he didn't, push you into sex, did he?”

“No, I shoved him off of me and I stormed out yelling, telling everyone what he'd done!”

“Right, I'm glad that- I'm not glad it happened at all. I am so sorry, but it's good to hear that he didn't rape you,” Dipper rubbed his face. “... that sucks.”

“My body feels contaminated by his slime! I would have killed him if I knew this planet didn't have such rules against it!” Bill threw herself down on the couch. “I'm so mad!”

“... I know, you... you don't deserve it. Ugh,” Dipper moved over to the couch, sinking down on it. “Guys are disgusting...”

There was a long moment of silence before Dipper felt something settle onto his lap at his desk and he grunted, looking at Bill. “What are you doing?”

“You need to lay your claim on my form before someone else does!” Bill declared. “I do not want to be taken by someone like that!”

“Even if we were dating, that wouldn't stop anyone,” Dipper insisted, turning crimson. “... I, it wouldn't stop anything... Bill, I can't protect you, you need to start taking some self defense courses! Be- Besides! Don't you want Andrew?”

Bill pouted, gloomily. “I... I want.. I want to experience it with someone I like... but... ugh, I don't care! Call him then!”

Dipper fumbled for his phone when suddenly the house shook. Dipper paused. “What was-”

The building trembled again, this time harder. Dipper flinched.

Bill flattened, moving away from Dipper, going to hide under the desk. Dipper stalked over to the door, looking out it. “Oh my god...”

Bill shuffled under the table, not climbing out. “What is it?”

“Bill, it's... there's … it's really bad. Something has caused a lot of destruction downtown...” Dipper stammered.

“What do you think I can do about it?” Bill retorted.

“He's yelling, I can hear it in my head!” Dipper clinched his head.

_Bill Cipher, you come out here and fight me! Accept your death with grace!_

“I will not!” Bill whispered, scowling. “The worst day since I got here!”

“Bill, he's going to destroy the town, we need to figure something out!” Dipper retorted.

“Call Sixer!” Bill yelled.

Dipper scowled. “He won't instantly solve this, but sure! Fine!”

Dipper dialed Ford in a hurry, shifting on his feet at the door. It was looking bad out there. He answered after a moment. “Hey, Dipper! How're you doing?” Ford answered, cheerfully.

“Not as well as you,” Dipper muttered, glancing at the destruction of downtown. “We have a huge emergency here and I don't know what to do.”

“What's wrong, Dipper?” Ford asked, worried.

“There's... this is so complicated! Okay, first, Bill was resurrected, but calm down, she's a human woman now...” Dipper started. Ford gasped. “She's living with me, and learning how to be a human woman. So, Bill is doing that, powerless and human, but then this demon popped up out of nowhere and seems to know Bill is Bill, even though she's a powerless human now. And Bill is hiding because there's nothing she can do to stop it... but now it's destroying downtown and looking for Bill and we just don't know what to do.”

“First, I need to focus on the point and we'll come back to the fact that Bill is alive and living with you as a human woman...” Ford shook his head. “First, what demon is it?”

“Bill, what demon is it?” Dipper glanced up. He communicated what Bill said to Ford and he listened to Ford's humming in thought.

“I encountered that one a few times in my years...” Ford thought to himself. “I found that demons in general are weak to shielding circles. Do you know how to make one of those?”

“I have no idea whatsoever,” Dipper admitted.

“Okay. I'll draw you a picture of what I want you to draw, and you need to go around the barrier and make it with rocks or sticks or something that won't move... then it'll be ejected out, and probably actually die, I'm not sure. It'll probably try to force it through the barrier and it can't... so I imagine it could just die in the collision,” Ford nodded.

“I got it, hurry up and send it, I'm on my way to the first edge of the barrier!” Dipper yelled, taking off.

Bill continued hiding under the desk until finally, she crawled out, rushing to Dipper's room, climbing under his bed, making herself comfortable.

 

When Dipper got back, he sighed, rubbing his back. That had been exhausting... the town was quite in a panic about the demon coming and the destruction it had made, and its yelling for Bill... but Dipper wasn't really bothered by it. He knew how it was. “Bill? You can come out, it's gone...”

There was a silence that answered him. Dipper shook his head. “Quit playing, Bill!” He went over to the desk, looking under it. Bill was gone. He looked around the living room, and there was no sign of him. Was Bill dead? Or hurt?... He was really nervous. He continued yelling, walking through the house, just in case Bill was still there...

He'd just about given up when he heard a really soft, sleepy yawn. He rushed into his room, yelling again. “Bill? Are you in here?”

He saw her hair pop out from under the bed, looking at him, exhausted. “Hi, Pine Tree...”

“Oh, geez,” Dipper sunk down on his bed, exhausted. “I thought you might have died or something from that field.”

“No, I'm fine... is it gone?” she rubbed her eyes.

Dipper was silent a moment. “Yeah, until the rocks or sticks move, or something like that. This is only temporary... Bill, we need to think of something more serious...”

“I don't know what would stay permanent,” Bill crawled out from under the bed. “Maybe some metal or something...”

“Ughhh...” Dipper rubbed his face. “It'll be hard to... It'll cost so much...”

His phone rang and Dipper looked at it. “Oh, it's Great Uncle Ford,” he answered. “Hi, Great Uncle Ford.”

“Is it better?” Ford asked.

“He's gone... for now, but the moment something gets moved, we're in trouble,” Dipper admitted. “How do I make it permanent?”

“You could make it out of concrete, or a water hose, buried under the ground...” Ford scratched his cheek. “I think maybe the concrete is your best chance. We considered establishing those kinds of measures years ago, but we had thought we'd eliminated Bill...”

“Right... yeah...” Dipper coughed.

“Explain it to me, Dipper. Stan and I have been discussing this since you hung up...” Ford frowned.

“Right, okay... here goes,” Dipper began explaining it to Ford, and Bill went off to go into the kitchen to eat something.

Finally, Dipper coughed, rubbing his neck. “So...now... we... we got attacked by it again... and I defended us. She hid under the bed.”

“Hmm,” Ford was silent a moment. “Are you very sure Bill is not evil anymore?”

“When I found her at the park, hiding under a bench in fear, her leg burned... I really suspected that Bill wasn't in on it. She wouldn't risk her body,” Dipper rubbed his neck. “Unless she was stabbing it with forks or jumping off roofs to break legs. It seemed too petty to risk her body that way.”

“Hmm...” Ford reflected on Dipper's words.

“You really trust him?” Stan scowled. “He tried to murder all of us, including you and Mabel as children.”

“He did. But now, she is actually just having a blast here. She's having a lot of fun eating food, drinking drinks, watching TV, studying for how to get a job... Well, she had one today... but she lost it.”

“Bill got a job?” Ford replied, surprised. “... How did she lose it?”

Dipper flushed. “Well, she got sexually assaulted by her boss. He grabbed her... chest, and... then the other area? She was freaking out about it, and I asked her if she wanted to go out and calm down, and then the fire and destruction happened.”

“... Are you kidding? She was sexually assaulted?” Ford exclaimed, and Stan grunted.

“I don't want to say he deserves it because no one deserves that... but the genocidal maniac really needs some karma to come at him,” Stan muttered.

“Stan!” Ford scowled. “He is a really terrible guy, but getting sexually assaulted is not deserved by anyone, no matter how bad they are.”

“If she'd been raped...” Dipper trailed off. “... I can't imagine what would have happened. What she would have done...”

“What was Bill's reaction?”

“According to her, she started yelling, forced him away, ran through the store telling the employees what he had done...” Dipper rubbed his neck. “If she had gotten raped, she would have murdered him and probably half this town before she was stopped.”

“I can't imagine the situation where Bill is entirely powerless,” Ford shook his head. “He would do everything to get his power back when it was over. Hitler level destruction...”

“Yeah, for sure...” Dipper sighed.

“Piiiiine Tree,” Bill poked her head in the bedroom, munching on a bag of chips. “You still talking to Sixer?”

“Yes, I am,” Dipper nodded at her.

“Hmm,” Bill pouted. “Hi, Sixer!”

“... Even with a female, human voice... I can still tell that's Bill...” Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. “You finally got what you wanted, eh, Bill?”

“I'd much rather get to keep my own body and gender...” Bill said, annoyed. “... But this world is so much fun! I really want to see what the next one's like but I lost my chance.”

“I've never found anything pointing to another one beyond this one, but that's any direction,” Ford frowned. “... I still wish you were dead, but at least you lost your powers.”

“A shame, but at least I'm me and I have my ability to do things,” Bill shrugged.

“... An odd statement, what does that mean?” Ford questioned.

“When I was in _his_ mind...” Bill's voice dripped with anger. “And I was about to die, but I didn't want to... obviously I'd been alive before anything in this universe, wasn't going to die. I summoned someone who agreed he'd save me... but... he would make me undergo a punishment. So I got sent to another time, place... and I was stuck inside the body of another demon. A demon that had entire control of the body. And I hated it. I hated him, I was so angry but I couldn't do anything... finally I got free and put into this body. She had been in some kind of accident. Probably was a body without a soul in it anymore, anyway, I took it over and got to live. Pine Tree found me and decided to help me. I like him more than you, Sixer, if you're wondering.”

“Well, I don't like the sound of that... if you're truly powerless, I won't mind it either way... But it's a shame that Dipper needs to deal with you,” Ford frowned.

“I am entirely powerless but it is much preferred to the torture I had to undergo for eons...” Bill shrugged. “I was ready to give up... I longed for death. Then they went to purge me from the body... and I woke up here.”

“Hmm...” Ford's voice was a little distant. “You were so despicable even like that, huh?”

“So true... but I was so ready to die, anything at all is better than that!” Bill nodded. “So this is eternally better.”

“Your whole experience has been great?” Ford questioned, irritated.

“...No, certainly not,” Bill frowned. “I got touched on by a man... He felt me all over... and I freaked out on him. If it happens again, I'll kill him.”

“You can't kill them, Bill,” Dipper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“...ugh. I guess I'm not supposed to kill them but how can I give them the revenge they deserve?” Bill frowned.

“A tricky question... I don't think there really is a way to do it,” Ford answered. “We have systems in place to try to get justice for the victim, but it hardly really is the justice the victim deserves. There's no way I can think of that could satisfy a demon.”

“See, Pine Tree? He confirms that killing is the best way for me to fix them!” Bill said, haughtily.

“No, it isn't!” Dipper cut her off. “You can't kill them, he's just saying that to a demon, there's no revenge you'd be satisfied by.”

“Ugh, so I'm just supposed to let them?”

“No, absolutely not! You scream, you yell, you fight... you make a huge scene, because they don't like huge scenes. If you attract attention, that's the last thing they want..” Dipper shook his head. “Don't kill them, but you can fight them to stop them.”

“Huh,” Bill grumbled.

“You're really beautiful too, Bill, so it's even harder!”

“What does he look like?” Ford questioned.

“Still a monster in there, regardless,” Stan muttered.

“I'll send a picture,” Dipper fidgeted with his phone. “Okay, sent.”

“Waiting for it,” Ford answered. “... Oh. Okay...” he showed Stan, who whistled.

“You sure that's Bill? Really? And for that matter, that girl's staying at her own home right?” Stan laughed.

“Nooooope, I moved right on in with Pine Tree!” Bill giggled. “I've been here a while! And I will keep living here until I either get a job that doesn't molest me, or the boy I'm dating decides to give me everything and I don't have to work anymore.”

“Oh, that is exactly what I expect Bill to say,” Ford let out a long sigh. “... You're dating someone? Dipper, do we need to come back?”

“No, it's okay, she hasn't done anything crazy or violent, so it's alright,” Dipper admitted. “She was calmed down a lot from her punishment.”

“I'm dating a guy named Andrew! I don't like him, but it works. He really buys me a lot of things!” Bill beamed.

“That's... interesting...” Ford managed.

“I'd rather be with Pine Tree but he won't give me anything... he doesn't give me things and he won't let me experience the human stuff I really want to! That's why he made me date Andrew,” Bill pouted.

“... Oh... Well... We- we're- it's really getting late here, see you two later! We won't be in the States for another few years so talk to you later!” Ford said, hurriedly, hanging up.

“Bill, you told them too much,” Dipper sighed. “I'm hungry. I'm going to go throw together something... Want some ramen?”

Bill pouted. “... I haven't forgotten what we talked about before he attacked! Pine Tree..”

Dipper frowned. “What did we talk about?”

Bill leaned toward him, rubbing his upper thigh. “I wanted you to clean the touches he made off my body!”

Dipper flinched. “R- right! I was supp- supposed to call...”

“No, stop it!” Bill protested, gripping his arm. “Don't call him! I don't even really like him like that!”

“I won't buy you everything and give you everything you ask me for,” Dipper scowled. “I'm not what you're looking for! Look, you are in a super hot body, and I love looking at you, I even like your dumb jokes and your off center humor... you really are... you're really... I'm into you, but you won't be happy with me, Bill!” Dipper rubbed his face.

“Ugh... I don't want you to guarantee me happiness and life ...” Bill scowled. “I just want you to have sex with me like they did on TV, and.. I don't know. Date me. Don't promise me things you can't... just try to make me happy. What would make me happy right now is for you to do me like that girl was done on TV!”

Dipper closed his eyes tightly. “Bill, I really, really, really can't. We're basically stabbing Andrew in the back if... if we do this, I'm dead. We can't.”

“Give me your phone then,” Bill demanded. Dipper made a face, confused, but handed it over. Bill unlocked it and fidgeted with it a moment, before holding it to her ear. “Yeah, this isn't Pine Tree,” Bill said, sounding irritated. “Yes, hello. I was at work and I got sexually assaulted and I didn't like it, and I got away from him and got home, and I did want it, but not from him. I asked Pine Tree to do it, and he refused, he said he wouldn't do it to you... He said I should call you and ask you for it, but... I like you but not that much. We are not going to work out. Pine Tree is more manipulable, so I want him. I liked all the things we did... but I want him.”

Dipper got to his feet, going into the bathroom. He locked the door and sat down on the wall of the tub, rubbing his face. Bill was really... She was getting wild. It... Telling his great uncles that, telling Andrew that... it was really something.

He stayed in there for a while, before leaving the bathroom. There was no sign of Bill in the hall, and he felt skeptical, looking around. He heard a little bit of noise from the living room and he relaxed, going into it. If he needed to avoid Bill until she forgot... He could do that. He moved into the living room and he flinched and leapt back. “B- Bill?” He demanded, his voice breaking.

She was lying out on his couch, naked, looking up at him. The TV was showing his favorite porn, and... Dipper crossed his arms, steeling his determination. “Bill, what are you doing?”

“I dumped Andrew, I told him I didn't like him, I liked you and I wanted you... and he was upset but that was that. I told him I didn't want him. He was really angry at me,” Bill shrugged. “But no, I want you... Will you let me have this...?” she gestured at the TV.

Dipper wavered between his reason – absolutely not, don't go after the woman who rejected his friend so cruelly – and his own desire, his longing and appreciation of her. She was really... “I- I... um...”

When she shifted into the same position the girl on the TV was in, Dipper felt his reason slip away from him and he stumbled over to her, climbing over her. “Whatever happens here... it isn't my fault,” he warned her, eyes darkening. “I tried to resist... I wanted to give you what you deserved... but you forced my hand...”

Bill giggled, eagerly. “I look forward to it!”

Dipper closed his eyes and gave in. It was the fulfillment of what he wanted, what she wanted... and he couldn't deny it any further.

 

When it was over, Dipper stared at the ceiling, thinking. Well... The body wasn't virgin, but Bill had way too much energy. She'd taken Dipper far further than he'd even actually thought he could go, but the whole thing had been... just too much. In the best way.

Bill was stretched across the couch, still naked, chewing on something she had gotten from the kitchen. “I'm going to take some time off work before I try to find a new work,” Bill nodded. “I don't want to work anyway.”

Dipper chuckled, tiredly. “I know you don't... but I do believe that you did your best today... I'm sorry he was touching on you... You don't deserve that.”

“I knew I liked it myself, more than pain even,” Bill paused. “But then when he touched me, I didn't like that it wasn't my choice, but it felt better when someone else did it. I really decided if I wanted it, and my body clearly did... that I would rather have it by you.”

Dipper looked at Bill, studying her. “Well, I'm glad you did it, but... also, I was right... The feelings are really amplified.”

Bill laughed, continuing to eat the chips she had. Dipper's phone rang, surprising him. He slid off the couch a little, reaching for it. “Oh... it's the people who are publishing the book, I need to talk to them.” He answered it, talking at length to the publishing company.

Finally, after an hour, where he ambled about and got redressed, continuing to talk to them, they finished talking and Dipper hung up. “Ah... Dinner time, I'll get to cooking it. You want to learn how?”

“Hmm... the idea of the fire sounds fun, but I don't want to!” Bill answered.

“I got it,” Dipper headed into the kitchen, beginning to cook. He was about halfway through cooking when his phone rang again, and he answered it. “Hello?”

“Dip! How are things going? Bill had work today, didn't he?” Mabel's voice rang through the phone, sounding excited.

“Um... well. Yes, she did,” Dipper nodded. “But it didn't go well. In the last hour of her shift, her boss invited her into his office and felt her up, really hard...”

Mabel gasped. “Did Bill kill him? And it's so hard to call Bill a girl, sorry.”

“It's okay,” Dipper nodded. “No, Bill didn't kill him, she just fought him, and left. Didn't hurt him, just ran. Straight back here and she was furious, pacing around and angry. I went to comfort her, and she was really upset, but she ended it by climbing on my lap...”

Mabel gasped. “Dipper. You didn't...”

“After that,” Dipper added. “Before anything, a demon came to town and caused tons of damage. I had to run around and solve the problem, then I got back and Bill still wanted me. I had to turn her down... and she called my friend and dumped him. And then got naked on my couch and forced my hand. So...

I couldn't... say no. Mabel, I do actually like her, so much, and it was... I had to say yes. I warned her about everything that could go wrong about it, and... well. Luckily, I still had a condom, I'm not going to get Bill pregnant, she would have no idea of how to live like that. But it was great. Sorry, I held out as long as I can, but... I actually have... fallen in love with her, I tried not to.”

“Well... Bill's a girl now, so it's okay, but it's weird...” Mabel frowned. “Bill did try to kill us. All of us... the world. Bill wanted to kill the entire world, Dip...”

“I know. I think now that Bill doesn't have any powers or anything, I think she's starting to change,” Dipper winced. “Sorry, I know that's weird. I'm just sure Bill's a good woman now.” He tapped the spoon on the side of the pan.

“Well, I hope so...” Mabel sighed. "I just don't know how I can accept this so easily."

“Alright, dinner's ready,” Dipper nodded. “I'm going to call her in here to eat. I need to get going, Mabel. Sorry to make this so short. We're just going to eat dinner now. I have to write after I eat, so...I'm going to be doing that. What are you up to, Mabel? I just realized I haven't asked!”

“Oh, I'm going to come visit, our parents heard you got that new roommate and want me to make sure nothing funny is going on,” Mabel nodded. “I've got to wait until they approve my time off request, but when it's done, I'll be there!”

“Oh, cool, you'll get to see her. She's pretty cool, I think you'll like her,” Dipper nodded. “One second. Bill, come in here! It's time to eat! … Alright. Yeah, I look forward to seeing you,”

“Me too. I still can't quite wrap my mind around this whole thing but I look forward to seeing her,” Mabel nodded.

“I look forward to it too! Please warn me, I'm so busy writing and helping her that this place is getting a little messy,” Dipper chuckled. “I want to clean it up for you.”

“Sure, I'll let you know,” Mabel nodded.

“That the girl you were going to have sex with?” Bill asked, eyeing Dipper on the phone, serving herself.

“Wh- no!” Dipper flushed. “This is my sister!”

“Oh, good,” Bill walked off, taking her plate.

“... I am so intrigued by this conversation,” Mabel trailed off.

“Ah, I met a girl at the grocery store, we hit it off, became really good friends... lot of flirting and stuff. Bill caught us flirting near the checkout and made herself very known... we quit flirting, I think she picked up on the idea that maybe we weren't just roommates,” Dipper explained, getting himself a plate of dinner, carrying it off to the table.

“Oh, I see, that's pretty rough...” Mabel laughed. “Well, do what you need to... Go ahead and eat dinner. I'll text you.”

“Yup, talk to you later, Mabel,” Dipper hung up the phone, setting his plate down on the table.

“Shooting Star doin' alright?” Bill asked, eating her dinner, looking up at Dipper.

“Yeah, she's doing fine,” Dipper nodded.

“Hmm, well, I guess she's outside the barrier... hey! Can I leave the barrier?” Bill stood straight up, excited.

“W- wait until you finish eating, then we'll see!” Dipper flinched. “Just eat first. Then maybe we can take a trip to... I don't know... let's drive to the next town over. It's too late to go anywhere real today...”

“Yes!” Bill plopped herself down in her chair, continuing to eat. Dipper continued eating, thinking as he ate.

They ate until they were both done and Dipper put the plates in the sink before going to the living room to get his shoes on. “Okay, let's get going, give it a try,”


	4. Chapter 4

They headed out to the car and Dipper put his seat belt on. “Seat belt,” he pointed at Bill, who buckled her seat belt.

They began to drive toward the border, Dipper going slower as they approached it. “Make sure you scream if it begins to burn...” he told Bill.

Bill braced herself, and they rode toward, and slowly through the border. Bill cheered, throwing her hands up. “Let's travel the world!”

“B- Bill, we can't! That's expensive!” Dipper flushed. “But, we can travel, sure, but not that much! My books didn't make me a millionaire!”

“Hmm. What's that mean?”

“It means that it costs like, say... $500 to take a plane to get to a place, right? Then once you're there, you have to eat, to drink, to see things, to live... you have to rent a hotel, you have to do all kinds of things, and, I mean, I can afford maybe one a year, but I can't afford us to travel across the world just end to end,” Dipper flushed.

“How much do you have?”

“I don't want to answer that question,” Dipper continued driving to the next town. “So I won't... It's not that I don't trust you in particular... I just don't trust anyone.”

“Hmm. … Do other people in this town have houses as nice as yours?” Bill asked.

“... I don't understand your question. Are you digging for information?” Dipper eyed him. “... My house is really nice though, it's true.”

“I think the tub is really nice, it's big enough for like, three people!” Bill laughed. “Wanna share it next time?”

“Mmm... I tell you what, if I finish my next chapter tomorrow, I will. I need to motivate myself, this next story is extra hard,” Dipper chuckled.

They drove and talked loosely on the way to the town, and when they got there, Bill was eagerly looking around, practically bouncing in her seat “What's that?” She pointed at a store they were passing.

“It's a big store for clothes and stuff... they're still open, you want to see the inside?” Dipper pointed. “You need some more clothes.”

“Yes!” Bill lunged at the window, looking excitedly out it.

“Okay, cool,” Dipper pulled in, parking the car. They went inside, and Bill ran around from aisle to aisle, nearly out of control. Dipper managed to calm her down, taking her to a specific area of the store.

“You need to remain a little bit calmer, we can come here every week, and you can go to all the stores here,” Dipper reassured her. He took her to an area in front of the fitting rooms, talking to the woman there. “Hi, this is a totally weird sort of question... but we need your help.”

“Of course, what do you need?” She smiled at them.

“This is, A-Alex. Alex was in a really bad accident, and we don't know the details of it, but she lost all of her memories and everything she owned, as well,” Dipper explained. “Sorry, but I have to explain that to you, to get to the point... Alex has no... uh, bras. We need to get her measured so that she can have some new ones. She's been wearing one that I believe isn't the right size, for a month now, and... well. Would you mind?”

“I wouldn't mind at all,” she smiled. “Please step in here with me and I'll explain what measuring you is and we'll do that.”

Bill followed the woman and made a small fuss initially, but calmed down after a moment. They were away maybe four minutes, before they returned.

“All done, do you know how to find them? Or what brands you want to get?” she explained with a smile.

“I have no idea,” Bill answered, puzzled.

“Of course, well, I can call someone over to help you find them,” she smiled.

They waited until a woman came over to help them, and she took them to the bra aisle, explaining the details of each style and type. “These are... well, I would say they're not good. They dig into the skin and hurt... this one here, has sort of... do you feel that, hard bit?” She showed her the band around the waist, and Bill touched it. “Yes, that tends to dig in too, not a good one... This brand here is my favorite, and this actual bra is my favorite...”

Bill felt it, and checked it for all of the issues she'd mentioned with each one. “None of the issues you mentioned are present here... I think I'll like it. Pine Tree, get me a bunch of these,” she pointed at it.

“Uh, sure. I don't know how many girls typically need?” Dipper frowned. “I don't know... seven?”

“Ah, seven is... perhaps you might start with four and then wash them every third day. You might be able to afford them, of course, but these are not cheap bras.”

“Well, if they're like, a hundred each, no, but...” Dipper wrinkled his nose.

“Oh, of course not, they're about 40 each,” the woman smiled.

“Okay, well, let's go ahead and get seven, then we won't have to do twice the amount of laundry,” Dipper nodded.

“We only have six in stock,” the woman said, checking the shelf. “In this exact size... is that alright?”

“That's fine, sure,” Dipper nodded. They added them to the cart. “Thank you, ma'am. We also need... underwear. Do you have recommendations for those as well?”

“Ah... well, certainly, there's a good line here that I like, too... follow me,” they followed her over to buy the underwear that she recommended, and Bill was excited to pick out the colors and patterns she liked. Dipper watched her, distantly thinking. Bill was so excited...

The woman gave him a small smile. “You really love her, don't you, sir?”

Dipper flushed. “I- huh? Um...”

“It's okay, I know. It is not really my place to comment that, but your face shows it so well. She seems to be a very happy woman,”she nodded. “I believe having a man like you with her helps that. Do you need my services for anything else?”

“N- no, this is fine, we- we can pick out the rest of the clothes ourselves,” Dipper stammered. “Thank you!”

She smiled at him before heading off, leaving them to continue buying underwear.

Dipper blushed, and Bill sidled up to him a moment later. “Look at all these I got! They are so human in design, look!” Bill showed off all the designs she'd picked out. “I got seven of these, too! These here, look at these weird hanging designs on the edges!”

“Mm,” Dipper looked at them. “Well, sure. That's fine. As many as you need. Okay, what next?”

Dipper let Bill lead him around the store, picking out the things they wanted, setting limits on things they wanted but had no use for. For some reason, Bill was enamored by a very large jar, and Dipper had to explain that it couldn't be used for anything... so they didn't get it.

When they got back home, it was a little late, but it was fine. It had been refreshing. “Alright, all done,” Dipper settled onto the couch. “Want to put these things in your drawer?”

“Yup!” Bill took the bags and went off, disappearing into the bedroom.

Dipper rested his tired legs, glancing toward his computer. He was at a little of a loss on where to go next in his story... but he had a general idea, at least.

Bill returned a few minutes later, but this time, Bill was only in a bra and her new underwear, excited to show Dipper one of her seven sets. “Aren't I cute?”

Dipper looked at her, chuckling as he nodded. “You're... you really are super cute. It looks good on you. The underwear is surprisingly the right size, too, I figured we'd need to get more next week when they didn't fit, but it looks good.”

“I know, I look so good,” Bill whirled on her heel. She promptly fell over, not used to moving that much, but splayed out on the floor, she laughed. “Haha, this walking thing is so hard! I was doing it before anyone in your family was ever conceived of, but it's so tough!”

“It is tough, you're right,” Dipper agreed, sitting up. “You want to get some of your pajamas on and we can get some sleep?”

“I don't like sleep, but... sure,” Bill pouted. “... Do I still have to sleep on the couch?”

“No, if you want to sleep in my bed, sure... it's big enough for both of us,” Dipper got up, walking over to Bill, helping her up. They walked into the bedroom, and Dipper adjusted the covers a little. He took his clothes off, leaving just his boxers on, sliding into bed.

“Hey! You aren't wearing pajamas,” Bill accused, curious.

“I don't wear them,” Dipper murmured, sleepily. “I guess you don't need to either but it's up to you.”

“Then I'm not going to either!” Bill slid into the bed, getting comfortable against Dipper.

Dipper grunted, surprised. “Well, hello...”

“Hello,” Bill greeted, cheerfully. “You're warm!”

“So are you,” Dipper yawned. “Come on, Bill, let's try to sleep,”

Bill grumbled but let Dipper finally fall asleep.

 

When Dipper awoke, Bill was over top of him. “Good morning,” Bill hummed, cheerfully. “Sleep well?”

“I'm waking better than I slept because there's a super hot you in just your underwear on top of me...” Dipper answered, groggily. “But... no, I didn't sleep so well. You?” Dipper murmured, rubbing his hands on either side of Bill's waist.

“I hate sleeping! So, no, I didn't!” Bill nodded. “But... I had a weird... thing,” Bill paused.

“A weird thing?” Dipper asked, sleepily.

“Yes! I went somewhere and I...” Bill paused. “You and Mabel were there. You should know! We bought a bunch of food from the store...”

“Oh, that's a dream, is that your first one?” Dipper asked, beginning to wake up.

“I don't know, those are normal?” Bill frowned.

“Yeah, they tend to be,” Dipper sat up. “Good morning, but again, don't climb on me in the night, Bill...”

“Oh, how come?” Bill asked.

“Well, I tend to do a lot of waking up... with, uh, with my body in a state like we had yesterday on the couch,” Dipper made an effort to explain.

“Oh... Good!” Bill nodded. “You want to, then?”

Dipper rubbed his face. “... First thing in the morning, it's a little weird. … but, uh, maybe we shouldn't. I don't keep you around for that, I don't want you to think that's the only thing on my mind.”

Bill pouted. “... I guess... but... it's on my mind?”

Dipper hesitated. “I can't let you just do anything you want, Bill...”

“But I want you,” Bill answered. Dipper felt his resolve crumble.

“Yeah, me too...” Dipper paused. “Okay, yeah, let's do it.”

Bill laughed. “Good!”

 

Dipper brushed his hair back from his face, focusing on his laptop. “Alright, I think I have a really good concept of the entire book now.”

Bill looked over at him from the TV. “Oh... yeah? I don't understand all of that. But I'm glad you figured it out.”

“Yeah, I based it off of your whole story...” Dipper agreed. “Well, the whole, you showing up in a body thing, and with some of the story I knew you had in the past and I modified it with stuff I made up from what I didn't know,”

“Hmm. Well, I hope it works out,” Bill hummed, looking at the TV again.

“Thanks...” Dipper looked at his screen again. “Oh... my phone.”

“Shooting Star?”

“Nah, my publisher,” He answered it. “Hello?”

They talked for a while, Dipper listening to what his publisher had to say, offering some suggestions and input. “Yeah, I didn't mind the third one, but I actually didn't really like any of them. They're not quite what I'm looking for. … I know, it's hard to find exactly what I want but also where it works for the cover... Yes. I thought the third one was the closest. But I also know that we can't get like fifty covers done and then hate all of them. So, go with the third one, if we're committing to one of those three.”

They continued talking for a while, before they hung up. Dipper drummed his fingers on the table. “I'm so irritated... this girl is really very difficult to write. She's very wild and I can't quite control her within my story.”

“Well, tell me what's up and I'll tell you what I'd do? It could help,” Bill shrugged.

“Sure,” Dipper nodded. “So, in this scene, she's got her second job, and she is suspicious of everyone... everyone! Anyone could touch her, and she doesn't really want it... but then there's an employee here who is really handsome and rich. She's into him, mostly just because he's rich. But she's also with the guy she's living with... and here, she's trying to decide what to do. And I just don't know.”

“Hmm,” Bill thought a moment. “Much to consider. How rich and how manipulable is this guy?”

“In terms of richness, he's got enough money to afford anything you or she could want,” Dipper nodded. “And he's really taken with her body. Extremely. She's got very large breasts and hips... and he's very much into her. But if she pushes too hard, he can easily get another girl.”

“I wouldn't need to push, really. If he can afford anything I wanted, I wouldn't have to work or do anything... I could do anything! So... hmm. If it were me, I got another job and there's a super rich guy there, who is into me, and can buy me anything? And also wants me? Yeah, I'd dump you in a second, I'd choose him, for sure.”

“Noted,” Dipper coughed. “So, that's what she'll do too.”

“It makes sense,” Bill agreed. “... Oh, boo, this guy is cheating on his girl. Why does he need another hole if he already has one?”

Dipper coughed. “I personally don't know...”

“Hmm,” Bill tapped her cheek. “How puzzling...”

“Right, it is weird. I guess sometimes, guys aren't satisfied with the girls they have... other times, they just like winning over other girls, getting their way. They like the newness and variety... none of their reasons are valid,” Dipper frowned.

“Hmm,” Bill watched the TV. “Apparently they're indicating something like... she is not as interested in sex as he is? Or... she just doesn't want it as much, maybe... I'm not sure. Do you want it as much as me or less?”

“I can't tell,” Dipper admitted. “Perhaps the same... perhaps different. We'll find out with time. I think right now we're both too excited about it... With time, you'll realize I'm not the best at it...”

“Well, I wouldn't know what the best is,” Bill answered, confused. “I'll only leave you for someone richer than you...”

“I won't state that I'm rich, really, but in this town, you'll not find someone like that,” Dipper answered, continuing to type. “But I hope you find what you're looking for.”

“Hmm,” Bill thought a moment. “So, you are rich.”

“No,” Dipper scolded, before pausing, embarrassed. “... I am not rich, really, but I don't spend my money unless it's critical. I only eat out once a week and I buy only the cheapest products from any store, or online if the price plus shipping is cheaper. I only buy my clothes when I absolutely need to... and I buy the cheapest ones I can. I get money from my book sales and I hold onto it.”

“So, how much do you have? Do you have as much as this guy?” Bill pointed at the cheating guy on the TV.

“I can't know how much he makes,” Dipper muttered. “People don't typically talk about that.”

“Hmm. Do you watch any of the shows I do?” Bill questioned.

“Well, my sister used to watch the one about the twin sisters,” Dipper continued typing. “Would you dump me or just leave me in the dark?”

“Well, I wouldn't dump you until I moved in with him,” Bill answered. “And do you have as much money as Joan?”

“Joan... let's see... he makes, what, 60k?” Dipper trailed off. “Yeah, I make more than that guy.”

“He lived really nicely though!” Bill frowned. “He had a nice house and a nice car, and tons of clothes... and a maid! You don't have-”

“I also think having enough money to eat and not ending up in debt is important,” Dipper finished his sentence on his computer. “If I lived like he did, I can't say I could have bought you clothes, and underwear, and bras, and food. You have to have enough in your savings to account for emergencies.”

“So, how much do you make against his 60k?” Bill asked.

Dipper was silent a moment. “Look, I save my money, Bill... I don't want to blow it everywhere.”

“How much do you make? I'm not going to blow all of your money,” Bill rolled her eyes. “If you don't tell me, I'll take off and find someone richer.”

“Well, if you find someone, I hope you love them,” Dipper answered. “But, I make... ugh, it changes, but usually no less than 120k. My books sell really well right now... but it's really possible they'll quit selling. So I need to save up for when that day happens.”

“Amazing, twice what that guy makes,” Bill hummed. “So, we could go on that world trip...”

“We can't,” Dipper scowled. “Bill, I wouldn't have enough to get us through half that trip. What if this year is the year my books quit selling? Then I'd be flat broke.”

Bill pouted. “I guess...”

“Let me do some research into how much it would cost,” Dipper frowned. “But I'll need to save for a long time before we can do that. You need to give me more time before that happens...”

Bill huffed softly. “It's a boring day...”

“Yeah,” Dipper sighed. “A little, but I need more days like this to finish my next novel...” He continued writing. “I'll quit writing at five, and we can go do something if you want. Maybe catch a movie at the theater or something.”

“Hmm, that's four more hours...” Bill pouted. “But, fine, fine, fine... I'll wait.”

“Thanks!”

Bill watched TV for another two hours, and when Dipper's phone rang, she answered it. “Hello, Shooting Star! How's things... wherever you are?”

Mabel winced. “Ah... Bill, I guess? You surprised me by answering Dipper's phone... I'm doing alright, how are you doing?”

“I'm doing well!” Bill answered, nodding. “He's too buuuuuusy.” Bill looked toward the TV.

“Oh... is he writing? I understand that, his last book, he locked himself in his room and survived like that without leaving for two months! He got enough food before he decided to do that... he wrote nonstop for two months!” Mabel agreed. “If he does that again, you'll have a really boring time...”

“He said he'd finish at five, but I'm so bored,” Bill kicked her feet.

“Well, it can be pretty boring doing nothing,” Mabel agreed. “Are you still looking for a job?”

“I am, but... I am also taking a bit of a break...” Bill paused. “In my last job, I worked really hard and I did well... but, in the last hour, my boss asked me to go see him. So I did, and he touched me and tried to get me to be with him. I was really upset and surprised too, because it felt really good, but I didn't want it! So I shoved him away and ran for it... now I'm worried the next guy will do something similar. And if he's not richer than Pine Tree, I don't want him!”

“Well, in that area, I'll doubt you'll find one,” Mabel agreed. “... Is, is it weird that you're _with_ Dipper now? I mean, you tried to kill us in the past...”

“And if you two were standing between me and my dream again, I would do it again!”

Mabel flinched. “W- would you?”

“I don't have a need of that really anymore... I have no powers anymore, but I'm also not stuck here in this town anymore! Pine Tree took me to another town, and bought me bras and underwear and more clothes!” Bill nodded. “So, without the entire power beyond what the world can conceive of... I can't hardly rule or destroy this world so I'm just watching TV, looking for work... having sex with Pine Tree!”

“Bill, that's a detail I don't want,” Mabel scowled, but sighed a moment later. “But... I guess you lost all your power on whatever happened that day... So, I shouldn't be afraid of you, but aren't you a man? Is it hard being a woman?”

“I am not, we live for eternity, do you really think we'd remain at that closed black and white system?” Bill scowled. “I'm fine pretending to be a woman too. Don't worry, Dipper's still probably whatever he was before we met again.”

“Well, yeah, but I guess I was just wondering if it's hard for you to pretend to be something else,” Mabel asked, curiously.

“No, it isn't hard. Ever since I met humans, I had to pretend to be a man, to give me power, and now I have to be a woman, it's fine... I doubt this world could conceive of what I am anyway,” Bill tossed her hair. “... Pine Tree, this hair is annoying! Can I get rid of it?”

“Well, sure, I'll take you to a haircut place tomorrow,” Dipper answered, absently.

“Fine,” Bill agreed. “He's taking me to get it done tomorrow.”

“Do you know what haircut you want?” Mabel asked.

They continued chatting for a while before Dipper finally stretched. “All done...”

“Oh, you're done?” Bill asked, sitting up. “He's done, Shooting Star! Wanna talk to him?”

“Yes, thank you,”

Bill handed Dipper the phone, and he talked to Mabel for a little while, before they finally had to hang up. Dipper stood up, going over to the mirror, fixing his hair and putting a hat on, before getting his shoes on. “You ready to go?”

Bill got to her feet. “Yup!”

“You need to brush your hair again,” Dipper glanced at her.

“Ugh, I hate it,” Bill sighed, brushing her hair again. “I can't wait for it to be gone,”

“We'll make you an appointment tomorrow to get it cut,” Dipper agreed. “Do you know what you want them to do to it?”

Bill went over to the door, putting her shoes on. “I want a haircut like Mia.”

“Oh, from that show? It'd look good on you,” Dipper nodded. He escorted her out and they drove even further to a bigger town this time. “What're you wanting to do?”

“I don't know...” Bill thought a moment. “Eat?”

“Okay, we'll go get some food,” Dipper agreed.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Bill and Dipper had a good dinner, went shopping, and went to a movie. Bill was enamored by the movie, enjoying every minute of it. After that, they hit a few more stores, and headed home. “I need to take tomorrow to write again,” Dipper said, absently. “Sorry.”

“Why?” Bill asked. “The days are boring when you can't entertain me!”

“I know, I just have to focus on this novel,” Dipper admitted, his tone hesitant. “I know it's not fun for you... but I'm really in a critical headspace for writing. I could barely focus on the movie because my mind is absorbed by this book. I know in real life, we won't have an adventurous ending, but my book is, and I just can't hardly sit still thinking about it!”

“Hmm...” Bill muttered, irritated. “Then take me somewhere and let me run around while you're working.”

“Yes, I get it. I'll take you to the place where you want to get your haircut, and give you some cash. At least, at six, I'll catch you at the store near there, and we can get dinner again,” Dipper said, absently. “Okay? First thing in the morning, I'll drop you off after breakfast.”

“I look forward to it!” Bill clapped her hands.

They got back to the house, and Dipper went straight for his laptop. Bill put her new things away, lying on her back on the couch, feet over the back of the couch.

Dipper continued writing for a long time, before Bill's voice, groggy from sleep, stirred him out of his concentration. “Have you been doing that all night?”

“Hmm? I guess... I'm fine, don't worry,” Dipper gestured to her. “Writing... writing a lot... I'm okay. I'll take you there and come back and keep working.”

“Any new developments?”

“A lot,” Dipper agreed. “She's left the guy she left him for... and now she's with a super rich senator... and she travels the world now. She's doing really well... too well. She's got a lot of power, and it's increasing by the day. Go ahead and get ready, and I'll take you when you're ready.”

Bill pouted. “But, Pine Tree, don't you want to spend time with me too?”

“Of course but I really do have to work,” Dipper admitted. “I'm so sorry, I really do think you're really cute... but I have to get my work done as fast as I can so I can start editing...”

“Pine Tree, but...” Bill pouted, sinking back down on the couch, hair brushed. “I want you...”

Dipper flinched. “Bill, believe me, I would love to spend time with you and do whatever you want, but I have to work... I haven't been able to do much writing since you showed up.”

“Mmm... I want you to spend more time with me,” Bill pouted.

“Bill, I want to spend time with you, but I have to finish this book,” Dipper winced. “I really have to get it done...”

“Please, Pine Tree?” Bill fluttered her long eyelashes. “Really, please?”

Dipper hesitated. “Bill, this is such a critical period for me, I'm really in my correct mindspace to write this... please, give me one more day. Tomorrow, I will go out with you wherever you want. As long as wherever isn't like, France.”

“Egypt.”

Dipper blinked. “Huh?”

“Egypt. I was there once, a very, very long time ago...” Bill tapped her chin, thinking. “It was amazing. They worshipped me like a god... that's why they have their pyramids! I'd rather go to Egypt instead.”

“Oh... well, we can't go to other countries, but, if we stay here in this state, we can go basically wherever,” Dipper winced.

“Right... hmmf,” Bill pouted. “Fine, I guess... Although I want to go today...”

“I know you do,” Dipper paused. “I... Bill, my mind is so filled with this story, I have to write it when it's here. I'm so sorry.”

“But, Pine Tree...” Bill pouted.

“Ah, Bill, you really need to start calling people by their names... not by whatever you identify them by,” Dipper began typing again. “It's very obvious that there's something weird about you.”

“But names can be changed in a second... why should names be so important?” Bill frowned. “... What is your name?”

“Ah... people call me Dipper. That's not my real name, it's a nickname, though,” Dipper continued typing. “Everyone calls me Dipper.”

“Well, so Dipper is your name then,” she paused. “...I understand. I don't like it, but I will call you by it. Your sister?”

“My sister is Mabel,” Dipper nodded. “My Grunkles, the one you call Sixer is named Ford, and the other one is Stan.”

“Hmm,” Bill frowned. “Okay. I don't like the name Sara, don't call me it anymore. I want a name that is more middle of the road in gender.”

“Hmm. What about, like, Tyler, Alex... uh... I don't even know any more,” Dipper continued typing.

“Alex, call me Alex, I accept that name,” Bill nodded. “I understand I am physically a woman now... but I am actually none of your human world genders... so I prefer no feminine names.”

“That's fine. Alex it is... let me write today, and tomorrow we'll have a good day, I promise,” Dipper kept writing.

Bill pouted. “Fine, I guess, but we'll do anything I want.”

“Okay, as long as you don't want to fly to another country, or drive across the country or something... I have to keep close to my work,” Dipper nodded. “But yeah, I'll humor you tomorrow.”

“Good,” Bill followed Dipper out, and he drove her to the haircut salon, giving her several large bills. “Go ahead and get your hair done. I'll see you tonight,” he kissed her.

Bill glared at him, before heading out, to get her hair done and spend her day out.

 

Dipper got home and continued writing, getting absorbed in it. He wrote until 6 and he headed out to find Bill. He barely recognized her with her new hair and he smiled widely, coming to a stop in front of her. “Get on in here!”

Bill flounced over, getting into the car. “Aren't I super super super cute? I've been hit on twice since I got my hair cut!”

“You're very cute and you have gorgeous hair... and a lot of bags?” Dipper looked at them, surprised. “You really went shopping.”

“I bought a lot of clothes!” Bill beamed, putting them in the back, before putting her seatbelt on. “This world is so weird, I enjoy it a lot!”

“I'm glad. Let's go eat. Is there anything you want to eat?” Dipper asked, pulling back on the road.

“Hmm. On TV, they ate at some... culture place,” Bill shrugged. “Give me something like that.”

“Mmm, how about Thai? I'm okay with Thai... but it might be weird for you.”

“Sure, I'll try it,” Bill nodded.

They went to eat Thai food, and Dipper struggled to stay awake. He ate his food, trying to concentrate. “Sorry, I'm- what did you say?” Dipper asked, drinking his iced coffee.

“I said, this food has so much flavor,” Bill smiled at him.

“I'm so sleepy...” Dipper rubbed his forehead. “Sorry. It'll pass in a moment.”

“Mmm,” Bill frowned. “You better stay up, you did nothing with me all day!”

“Right, I'm trying,” Dipper smiled. “Let's just finish this up and then go home and watch TV.”

“Sure,” Bill sighed. They continued eating until they finished up. Dipper managed to stay awake to get them home. He settled down on the couch with Bill, and they put the TV on. Dipper managed to stay awake until the first commercial break, and he fell asleep by the third commercial.

Bill was really pouty, bothering Dipper as he slept deeply next to her. After nothing she did woke him, she dialed Mabel, sighing. “Hello?”

“Hi, Shooting Star. He canceled our plans again today. What are you doing? Is it fun? I'm not having fun,” Bill studied the TV. “Oh, right, _Mabel_. _Dipper_ told me to call people by their names, whatever that's about. You're getting ready for work, huh? If he's going to keep working to the point of ignoring me, maybe I'll just get a job too. … Oh, I go by Alex now, so no more Bill, okay? _Dipper_ needs to call me that too! You should come down and see us. I could use someone to bother who isn't Dipper! I didn't tell him I was calling you, I just did. If you're going to work, do I need to let you go, Mabel? Dipper said I need to understand other people.”

Mabel laughed, a little bit awkwardly, surprised by how friendly Bill was being. “I'm just finishing up this report for work... Why'd you call? You have so much to say!”

“Ugh, he worked all day and night yesterday and today and he just barely managed to get us back from the restaurant! I'm so mad that he did all of that and ignored me all day! He just left me to get my haircut and go shopping... and worked without me,” Bill pouted. “... wanna see my hair? I'm so cute!”

“Uh, sure, let me... one second,” Mabel pushed a button on her phone. “Okay, look at the phone screen.”

Bill looked at it, wrinkling her nose. “I see...” she swiped it and it entered a video call. “There you are! Hello!”

“Hello,” Mabel smiled, holding the phone close to her face. “Your hair looks super cute, by the way. That short hair looks like it's really simple to maintain.”

“It so far hasn't bothered me,” Bill agreed. They continued chatting for a while before Bill sighed. “Dipper won't wake up... I have to go to bed soon so that when I wake up, he will be!”

“Well, if you need to go, go ahead and get some sleep. I'm sure Dipper will be available for you to bother him all day,” Mabel giggled.

“I hope so!” Bill sighed.

They hung up shortly after that, Bill snuggling against Dipper, before falling asleep on top of him.

 

When Dipper woke the next morning, he felt groggy, but there was the warmth of Bill on top of him. He smiled at her, before sitting up, gently shifting her to where he'd been laying, pulling the blanket over her. He scratched his arm, gathering up some of Bill's trash, putting it in the trash can. He had just finished throwing it away when Bill stirred, sitting up. “Ugh... Dipper! Good morning!”

“Morning,” Dipper rubbed his neck. “You used my name, what a surprise. How'd you sleep?”

“I was lonely, you fell asleep on me,” Bill pouted.

“Right, sorry,” Dipper admitted. “My bad. I was really tired. Your hair even looks cute this morning,”

“Thanks!” Bill beamed.

The doorbell rang and Dipper looked at it. “I didn't invite anyone...”

“Me either!” Bill strode over to the door, opening it, still sleepy. “Ah, Mabel? How'd you get here so quick?” Bill made a face.

“When we talked last night, I was already on my way here!” Mabel smiled, bringing her bags in. “Morning, Dipper!”

“B- Alex, don't just invite people in!” Dipper stammered. “This is okay, it's my sister, but anyone else...!”

Mabel entered, wheeling in her suitcases. “Hi, Alex... I surprised you!”

“You did,” Dipper agreed. “Really. Welcome, Mabel! I can't take much time away from this, it's really a critical mindspace for me. Can we talk more tomorrow?”

“Fine, fine...” Mabel rolled her eyes. “I'm taking your debit card, Alex, your car, and we're going shopping. Getting whatever we want!”

“Just don't make me broke,” Dipper waved her off.

Mabel rifled through his wallet, taking the debit cards. She grabbed Alex's arm. “Let's go shopping! If you try to hurt me, I'll smash you like a bug! But Dipper trusts you, so I will too,”

“Sure!” Bill followed after her to the door, grabbing the car keys. They headed out.

 

Dipper wrote for the entire day, only taking a break to eat a couple of chips and drink some soda, before getting back to writing. Finally, the door opened and Mabel and Bill came in, carrying a lot of bags.

“We got tooooons of stuff,” Mabel said, proudly. She set the card and keys on his desk. “Wanna see it all?”

“Wait until I finish this chapter,” Dipper managed, sounding like a zombie. “I'm right in the crux of the story, I just don't know if I'm ready to stop yet...”

“Dipper, last time you sounded like this, you ended up writing for two months straight and we had to hospitalize you!” Mabel scolded.

Dipper didn't answer, just continued to write. Mabel sighed, going to lay out her purchases. Bill immediately began trying her new stuff on, and Dipper finished the chapter, sighing. He glanced up, before flushing crimson. “Ah! Hey! Don't get naked in my living room with my sister here!”

“Alex, you're so wild!” Mabel admitted, surprised. “You... really shouldn't do that, don't put the idea in his head with me here!”

“It's fine, I have restraint,” Dipper rubbed his face. “... So, uh, Alex... got... a skirt, and a shirt... you want to try yours on, Mabel? Not here... or it could be here, I'll look at the wall while you change...”

“No, I'll just hold them up so you can see. It's not fun to show my new clothes to my brother like you're one of my friends,” Mabel showed him item after item, and Bill tried all of hers on to show Dipper.

Dipper looked at all of them, admiring the clothes. “You got a lot of clothes...” He rubbed his hair. “How... uh... Hm...”

“We went to the most expensive store in that town,” Mabel looked at him, smugly. “And, Alex got some clothes you'll like there too, but she won't show them to you until you quit writing!”

“Well, I'm done for the night, you two won't let me write,” Dipper admitted.

Bill cheered. “Finally, he's done! Want to get dinner?”

“I ate a lot of chips and soda,” Dipper admitted. “But we can get food, if you want... I'm okay with that. Want to get delivery or go get it?”

“Let's order pizza,” Mabel nodded.

“Sure, let's do it. You guys need to put the clothes up...” Dipper gestured to them. “I'll order the pizza. Bill, you know what to do with yours, right?”

“Who's Bill?” Bill lifted her leg, pulling the thigh high sock off from the toe, sliding it down her thigh and off her foot.

“Right, sorry. Alex,” Dipper rubbed his shoulder. “You know what to do with them?”

“Right, I'll put the ones I want to show you on the bed in the bag and I'll show you later,” Bill went off, gathering her clothes up, carrying them to their room.

“Your room is still open for you,” Dipper pointed at it, glancing at Mabel. “Bi- ALEX's been crashing on my couch, or on my bed if she begs hard enough.”

Mabel grinned, her grin looking somewhat lecherous. “You old-fashioned pervert! I'm proud of you, you're really becoming a man!”

Dipper paled. “Mabel, shut up, that wasn't my choice, that was her choice! … but, uh, it has lead to some... uh, some interesting... uh, mornings...”

Mabel grinned wider. “You pervert...”

“Oh, shut up, I'm ordering the pizza,” Dipper pulled out his phone. “I haven't eaten all day, just a lot of chips and soda.”

“You know what I like,” Mabel toyed with her shirt she'd bought on the couch, admiring it.

“I know, you're gross, like that pineapple on your pizza,” Dipper called the pizza place. He made the order for the three pizzas, paying and hanging up. “Okay, they'll be here in like thirty minutes or so,” Dipper glanced back at the computer.

“No,” Mabel scolded.

“Mabel, this is my job, this isn't just fun!” Dipper flushed. “But I will take a break tonight, and tomorrow. Really.”

“Don't go in your room to see what Alex bought until I'm in my room,” Mabel pointed at him. “Just don't. Stay here.”

“Okay? I wasn't going to,” Dipper said, surprised. Bill came back in, flopping down on the couch. “Such a long day, but I had so much fun!” Bill smiled. “I could have been shopping like that this whole time?”

“Well, yeah, Dipper is loaded,” Mabel nodded. “You could have.”

“Diiiiiipper,” Bill leaned back on the couch, turning her head to face Dipper. “I could have had fun like I did today with you! Why did you hold back on me?”

“I wouldn't have money if you got to buy everything you ever wanted to,” Dipper rubbed his hair. “I got you a pretty good pizza, A... lex,” he paused. “Alex. I hope you like it!”

Bill beamed. “I'm sure I will! What kind did you get? And also what did I get?”

“A cheese with mushrooms and anchovies,” Dipper glanced at the computer again. “I got you a pepperoni, I know a lot of people like that kind of pizza.”

“You don't?” Bill asked.

“I haven't eaten it in a long time. It's unclean,” Dipper answered. “You aren't held to the same kind of food rules as we are, so I didn't get you a pizza like mine.”

“What did you get?” Bill glanced at Mabel.

“I got a mushroom, bell pepper, black olive, pineapple, artichoke and beef pizza!” Mabel threw her hands out. “It's kind of like a supreme but with beef, artichokes, and pineapple added to it, and the sausage and ham removed.”

“What are anchovies? And artichokes?” Bill frowned.

“Anchovies are little nasty fish,” Mabel wrinkled her nose. “And artichokes are delicious sort of... they're kind of like gigantic vegetable buds, but they're really good!”

“I don't mind artichokes but anchovies are not gross, they're super meaty...” Dipper frowned. “You're welcome to try them.”

“I'll try them,” Bill nodded.

“Should be here in about twenty minutes, so... let's just relax, watch TV, or something. I don't know,” Dipper stretched. “Whatever you guys want to do...”

“Sure, sounds good,” Bill stretched out a little. “I like TV.”

“I don't have any board games,” Dipper told Mabel, hastily. “You know I don't ever get guests...”

“Right, boring,” Mabel rolled her eyes.

“How did you get off work to come here?” Dipper asked.

“I'm taking my vacation... I have seven days before I got to work again, so I can be here like, 6 more days,” Mabel explained. “So make sure I'm entertained.”

“I got it,” Dipper nodded. “But I'm not going to quit writing, we'll need to work the two things around each other.”

Bill slumped down into Dipper's lap, hugging him tight. “You're ignoring me, Dipper!”

“Sorry, I'm not trying to, I'm just talking to my sister!” Dipper flinched.

The earth rumbled again and Bill flattened against Dipper. “It... was that him?” Bill whispered, afraid. “It was just yesterday...”

“I have to make it more secure. I have to,” Dipper managed, moving Bill off of him. He crept to the door, opening it. The earth trembled again, and Dipper looked.

“It's... I don't see anything. I think I'm going to have to put the barrier tomorrow. If it shows up again, Bill, he'll raze this town,”

“What are you guys talking about?” Mabel frowned.

“There's a demon who is out to kill her. If we don't, it'll destroy the entire town,” Dipper shook his head.

Mabel gasped. “That's scary! What do we need to do?”

“I have a field up, but I need to make it solid. I'm going to start buying and mixing concrete first thing in the morning. It's too dark now to do it.” Dipper shut the door. “We don't have much time. Whenever those sticks and rocks move, we're all in trouble.”

“We have to kill him,” Bill answered, frowning poutily. “Why are you bothering with keep away? Playing keep away for the next … next-”

Bill gasped, clutching her shirt in her fist. “I just realized...”

“Alex, are you okay?” Dipper remembered her name and struggled to use it.

“I- I'm going to die!” Bill started struggling to breathe, rushing back and forth across the room. “I'll die like this, in this body!”

Dipper rushed over to her, sitting her down on the couch. “Calm- calm down. It's... yes, you will, but … you'll get to experience so much, in the next few years, it'll feel really lengthy! You'll enjoy the rest of your life, I promise!”

“I have lived since before anything in this universe had a form!” Bill scowled. “And now I'm dying in the blink of an eye!”

“Well, no, not a blink, you've got a lot of time left, not as much, but... Still a lot,” Dipper tried to soothe her.

Bill began scratching her arm roughly, thinking. “... This small interval is still so much better than... than where I was before. I have to remember that. This is better. It... At least here I'll die controlling my own body, eating food, drinking drinks... It's better. It just... ugh, I get free reign of this world but I'm reduced to a short life...”

“Benefits come at costs,” Mabel chuckled.

Bill pouted, and they continued hanging out, working at calming Bill down and and watching TV. They passed their time until bed.

The next morning, Dipper, Mabel, and Bill all headed out to get the cement. They started mixing it and Dipper poured it along the line, moving carefully along the path of the sticks. Mabel and Bill helped him as he worked, pouring the cement and walking. He continued working until finally the entire thing was completed, and Dipper was exhausted. He slumped down in the park on a bench, rubbing his forehead. “I just don't know if I can make it home. If I pass out, just leave me here...”

“Bleh, you can make it! If not, I'll drag you!” Mabel scooped him up. “COME ON, DIP!”

Dipper shrieked, flailing out of her arms, hitting the ground. “Don't do that! I'm the boy! Why are you in better shape than me?”

“Because I take daily runs and work out and you don't leave your room for months because of writing?” Mabel asked, dryly.

“Oh... maybe,” Dipper muttered. “I'll try to walk home...”

He began shuffling off toward his house, limping every step. “I'm so tired...” he muttered.

“My feet are hurting too,” Bill muttered, continuing to walk along with them. “It's really bad... but I can keep walking.”

“It's because of your shoes. They're really nice but they're low quality. They easily cause blisters and sore ankles,” Mabel pointed.

“Hmm,” Bill looked down at them. “I don't like shoes at all. But these don't look as bad as some of the others.”

“I'll take you to get you better shoes,” Mabel nodded. “But good shoes are really expensive, Dipper, you better prepare!”

“Ugh,” Dipper muttered, stumbling, careful to stay upright. “... I just don't know... home is so far away.”

“You can do it, Dipper! Three more blocks! Roughly!” Mabel laughed.

Dipper shuffled weakly to the house, just managing to stagger to the couch before he fell over the arm of it. Bill took a seat next to him, getting her shoes off.

“Ow... there's a lot of skin and it's all swollen...” Bill muttered.

Dipper managed to get his socks and shoes off, before closing his eyes. “We're good for a while.”

“You both look worn out,” Mabel laughed.

“We really are,” Dipper agreed. He looked over at Bill. “Well... now you're safe to live the life you want... do anything you want. This town might not be the one you choose to live in, I'm sure if that barrier ever went down, they'll be back.”

“I want to be with you, you're giving me everything I want except a trip around the world!” Bill pouted. “So... I'm alright. I'm pretty happy here!”

“Well, you know, I can't sell this house, no one would pay so much for a house like this in a town like this...” Dipper sighed. “So, we're stuck here if you want to stay with me.”

“It's good. We'll be happy,” Bill nodded.

Mabel giggled. “You'll really commit to her, huh, Dipper?”

“I already am,” Dipper took her hand, tiredly. “... Sorry, I'm too tired to give you more of a reaction. I'm committed. She has that personality that I just don't know who could say no to it...”

Bill curled up against him, falling asleep, smiling. Dipper smiled too. “We'll be alright.”

“Well... I didn't like it at first, but you seem like you're going to be happy, so... I won't resist it,” Mabel giggled. “Just maybe don't tell our Grunkles!”

“Well, I told them everything except the... together... part...” Dipper coughed. “But... well, they'll have to know that part eventually.”

Mabel winced. “Well... good luck.”

Dipper pulled Bill to him, running his hands through her hair, streaked with concrete. “Thanks... I'll do my best.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to get this posted as soon as I can but since my touchpad on my mouse quit working... I had a hard time using this thing. Luckily my mouse works fine with it. :x But... still. My laptop is falling apart :_(

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. :) Much appreciated. Link to my tumblr is [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/trashdove6). Come talk to me if you want, I like people. Also, I will take suggestions for fanfics and stuff. :) Just let me know. Pretty unusual fic, I know, but I got a good suggestion for it from Ladynoir_is_back ... and I decided to go for it! I had a few little hangups... (the first time writing this I got like 30 pages in and realized it was entirely wrong) and then I got anxiety about how slow I was writing... but I finally got it all done! I hope you guys all love it too.


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